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writes: Dear Cupid... I'm in year 10 at secondary school and there's this girl in my tutor group who I think might like me. I don't know much about all these signals and stuff, but every time I see her she walks up to me, stops me, puts a big smile on her face and starts being really friendly to me! Does she like me or is she just being good friends? Oh by the way I think I like her too, so you know. Thanks for your help. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (19 September 2005):
 Don't worry about "signals". Shee! The way some blokes talk about girls and signals, you'd think there was a row of lights on our foreheads: Green = Come hither, Amber = Try and see, Red = I'm calling the cops.
OK, Now I've got that out of my system. Sorry!
But the reason I get wound up about the subject is that people - especially young guys - want to make mystery and difficulty where there really isn't any. She's a girl, she's in the same class as you, she smiles and she's friendly to you whenever she sees you.
I'll put on my fortune-telling turban and make this prediction: she likes you.
Well, of course she does! The way that humans express attraction for one another is with smiles and friendliness. It's really not that complicated, even if she is an alien lifeform -- oh sorry, a girl.
Whether she "liiiiiiikes" you (that is, romantically), as distinct from whether she "likes" you (as a classmate and friend) is something only getting to know her better will tell you for sure.
You could ask her to meet up at lunch or after school and find out, if you wanted. That way, if it's only as a friend, you haven't really risked any sort of rejection. The fact that you're in a tutor group together is a big plus: ask her if she wants to revise some of the material with you. From there, you can get to know her a little better socially, and if she has any interest in you beyond being platonic, you'll know soon.
One other thing you can do is watch the way she acts with other boys in the group. Is she friendly and smiley with all the guys, or just you? That should give you a starting place to determine whether she's just a very friendly girl, or interested in you, yourself.
Good luck with it.
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