A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:I am 22 and I am a virgin. More so, I am a virgin who just got engaged. I really want to have sex and so does my man - not that hes pressuring me at all. The problem is every time I try it hurts too much... i've used copious amounts of lube and even the doctors say its "all fine" down there. I don't know what I can do to make it hurt less so that I can just get on with it. Now its come to a point every time we get close to doing it, I lose my drive and push him off me and fall asleep. I feel really bad for him even though he hasn't complained even once. I really want to solve this problem before it gets really bad.. I am after all marrying him!Are there any creams or remedies that make it not hurt?PLEASE help :(-Miss Nosexdrive
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male
reader, daletom  +, writes (16 January 2008):
This question is repeated from the thread "Are there any creams or remedies that dimiss the hurt during the "first night"?" at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/are-there-any-creams-or-remedies-that-dimiss.html - she's already getting answers there, so answer that thread instead of this one.
A
female
reader, Annalisa  + ♥, writes (16 January 2008):
 Right, first of all you need to accept that the first time will hurt, because the hymen breaks. If you have half done it once, it should be broken, so you should be fine now. In any case, you need to relax.
Now, your man sounds very loving, so when you make love, he should concentrate on you. Let him finger you and go down on you, with the understanding that you are not going to have intercourse. Let him use one or more fingers inside you, as this won't hurt. He should stimulate your G-spot, half way up the front of your vagina. This should give you so much pleasure that worry should be the last thing on your mind, and you should get really wet.
Once you are so aroused you are fully relaxed and rosy-cheeked, let him penetrate you. If your hymen is not broken fully and you feel it sore, tell your man to stay inside you, but keep his thrusts short and slow.
Keep going for a while, then stop.
Next time should be fine, even if you only wait a few minutes!
Just remember that, although first time sex hurts, it heals really quickly. Most of all, it will be wanderful for both of you if you know what makes you tick!
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2008): Pain is a turnoff, for sure. The words to an old song says 'all you need is good lovin', meaning soft, gentle foreplay until your muscles relax and you are more 'ready'. You be the one to say 'when'. This was my own doctor's advice. And, did it work? You bettcha. I am a grandmother, now.
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