A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi i m 26 now, female,when i was 20 i had a relationship with a guy..i never intended to have sex with him, i was deeply in love with him...so it just happened..he did with me only once.. when I was 21 we set apart and get to know he was only with me for dating purposes...Now my family is planning for my marriage...and in our religion bride and groom must be virgin..but i m not sure whether i am or not...but he is...my future husband loves me alot and he wants every thing after marriage...so i m very scared what shall i do now..if i tell him the story i will lose him which i dont want..i want to start my life afresh ...i like my future husband too but i want to know if i dont tell him about my past relation is in any otherway he gets to know whether i m virgin or not....plzz plzz help me ...i'm very upset and scared...and evey time ask for forgiveness to God... Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anny123  +, writes (16 April 2010):
Hi,
I think u should go to gynec and get your check up done, if its not ruptured nothing can be understood by ur future husband then just forget about it and start ur new life
If its ruptured ask ur gynec to tell u some other reasons which can cause the rupture, i think gynec should help u, if ur husband understand its ruptured tell him appropriate tale otherwise it may hapen he wont be able to distinguish and u will never have to answer him
Its very wrong to cheat on ur partner but telling the truth may ruin ur marital life,so go ahead and hope he never knows ab it and if he understand give some other reason like fall from bicycle or horse...
At the end decision is urs, best of luc..
A
female
reader, Sexymissy  +, writes (3 March 2010):
to begin with, ask him a question like " do you really love me? if i told you somthg call it "bad" about my past would you still love me?
the if all the answers are positive tell him the truth.
otherwise,come up with a story, say you was raped and did not tell because you was affraid. as simple as that. well, thats in the case of were you think he might take it seriuosly and you might lose him if you said the truth.
i personally would lie bout it. it might never set me free but knowing that i had to do it for the person i love and care bout, then y not lie and repent.
good luck. the choice is up2 u.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (3 March 2010):
 People used to think that if a girl's hymen broke, it means they are not longer virgins, this is not true.
Girls can break their hymens from any sort of penetration (such as masturbation or use of internal menstrual options like tampons or menstrual cups) or they can be broken from activities like horse riding.
If you don't know if your hymen is in tact you can look by sitting comfortably and using a mirror to look at your vulva (external part of your genitals) to see the vaginal opening.
The hymen is different from girl/woman to girl/woman but usually if in tact it will look like a ring of flesh around the opening to your vagina where as if broken it will look like flaps of skin around the vaginal opening.
There is a good site that shows images, not photos, of the hymen so you know what to look for here - http://www.healthystrokes.com
If you are not sure whether you are a virgin or not , go to your gynecologist.
If it is very important in your marriage due to religious reasons and if you are confirmed a non virgin ,you can
go secretly for a Hymenorrhaphy or hymen reconstruction surgery .
It is best that you talk to your future husband alone and see where he stands on this issue.
reference:-
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hymenorrhaphy
http://www.healthystrokes.com/hymengallery.html
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A
female
reader, rubaab  +, writes (3 March 2010):
Hello dear !I am sorry to hear that. I had same problem. Please dont make your life hell . If u will hide from him and he will find your life will be hill.Its my experience. Please tell him the truth.OR go to doctor and do hymen repair. but please dont hide because if he will find out it will be big problem for u...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2010): Hello dear !
I am sorry to hear that. I had same problem. Please dont make your life hell . If u will hide from him and he will find your life will be hill.Its my experience. Please tell him the truth.OR go to doctor and do hymen repair. but please dont hide.
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A
male
reader, B1ueBird +, writes (23 February 2010):
 There are two options in situations like these. The first being that it has been MANY years and you could just NOT bring it up, your future husband would never know the diffrence. But in doing that (I don't know your religion so I don't know your relationship with the maker) but alot of people would be against the first option viewing it as a lie, or whatever.
The second option is, take your future husband aside and if you both truely love eachother and trust eachother tell him the truth, if he accepts it as a youthful mistake perhaps you could both spare your families the heartache or stress of finding out. But you'll both know which will strengthen your relationship I guess...
Honestly I've found that in this day in age there are so few virgins over the age of 14. Listen to your heart and all will work out in the end. I promise. :) Everything happens as it's supposed to happen and it can't happen anyother way.
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