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Really want to get together with this colleague, but afraid to mess up the working relationship

Tagged as: Age differences<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 May 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 4 June 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, *mm152 writes:

Hey! Grateful for any honest advice?!

I'm 25 and a nurse. A new trainee consultant started working with us a few months ago. I just recently got talking to him and REALLY like him! I admire his work and he's so approachable and gentlemanly, so easy going and not an ounce of arrogance, i love being around him. He's really sweet and seems possibly quite shy.

I feel as though I've managed to strike up a pretty good rapport with him and hope that he sees me as someone he can relax with when he sees me at work, although he does get on with everyone. He always smiles and laughs with me and seems really focussed when we're talking (we don't just talk about work). He initially told me he got a consultant's post at the other end of the country, but on listening to his conversation with another colleague he's decided to take a job much closer.

I cannot stop thinking about this man, he seems so perfect and adorable. He's 34 (apparently) and I've heard he has kids and used to be married. I joke to my colleagues about how much I like him, but it's serious inside.

A friend blurted it out to the consultant he's being trained by, and she got all excited and stated he would be very flattered - she promised not to say anything though. Another friend says she thinks he likes me too, as she states she was watching him keep looking at me while i was having a conversation with someone else.

Sorry this is a bit childish! I'm just worrying that I could have a possible chance with this amazing man and miss the opportunity due to being too afraid to make a move, yet cringeing at the thought of making him aware of how i feel and have him run a mile and be left feeling completely rejected (i'm not very confident), yet still having to face him at work.

There's also the complications of him being around 10 yrs older (no problem to me, but will he think i'm a bit young at 25?), working together (for the next few months anyway), him having children and a demanding career (will he want a relationship?) and the fact that he's at the height of a doctor's career - and I'm 'just' a nurse (does he prefer someone more career-focussed?). I'm quite analytical!!

Eek - thoughts please?!

Thanks!

View related questions: at work, shy

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2010):

You have a situation similar to mine. Only I've gone through with the relationship at work. Trust me on this...don't dip your pen in the company ink. When you mix the workplace with your social life it can be detrimental to everything you have. If the relationship ends it will mess up work. You won't be able to concentrate and everything will remind you of him. It is so tempting I know, but the odds are long that you'll marry this guy and live happily ever after. You need to protect your career and your sanity at work. As far as any age difference...no big deal. Maturity is in the person not the age. The other major thing to consider is his children are a package deal. Although you wont be mom, you will have to be a big part of their lives and them to yours. This is a huge undertaking and I know this because I have children. Don't minimize that aspect because it will take you by suprise and overwhelm you. Bottom line....There are so many great guys out there. I wouldn't gamble on this one. Sorry

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