A
female
age
41-50,
*ARKSBABYGIRL4E
writes:The way i met my current fiance was while being pen pals to inmates from a site i found online. I wanted just to make new friends and give people who are in jail hope that there are people out there who will listen, not judge and can be friends with them. i understand their loneliness and pain because my mother suffered it when my father was incarecerated and killed before his release after being cleared of all crimes and innocent. So i could relate to their loss of family and friends. I wasnt looking for love but found it. I have had many bad relationships and 2 very nastyu marriages. Scared to take the leap I did. I am very deeply in love with this man. We have so many dreams. So many people doubt that we want to be together but are just lonely and obsessed with the fact that our words and phone calls are what binds us. Its been many years since we both have physically been with anyone. Our passiuon for all that is there. I have to marry him in order to be with him in that way. I guess im afraid that if i do, he wont want me anymore. I was willing to uproot myself and my child for this man. But something doesnt let me move in that direction. How do i stop being scared and follow my heart? Ive never had true love like this before and im afraid its not real. I told him from the beginning there was a brick wall around my heart. he slowly chipped it down. Now what?
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