A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've got myself into a relationship that will wreck so many lives, but i can't stop seeing my boyfriend. I love him too much. Im 19 and my BF is 25. He's my brothers best friend and i've known him all my life. He got married about 3 years ago because his wife was pregnant. Last year, he came over to the house i share with my brother and friends, and we started drinking, and then something happened and he kissed me. I was totally shocked but i kissed him back, and that was the first time we slept together. A few months later, i asked him if he was going to leave his wife and he said he would if i wouldn't tell anyone that we'd had a affair behide her back. He broke up with her 3 weeks ago, and stayed with his mum. Now he's told me that she can't handle their son on her own, and he has to support his son, and that we can carry on as before. I don't want to end things, because when its just us, its amazing, he'll drive miles just so we can go to the cinema or hold hands, and he treats me better then anyone ever has. I just don't know what to do! If i leave him then ims scared ill never meet anyone like him again. Please don't judge me for taking another women's husband. Their marriage was purely because of their son, something they have both admitted.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2009): i think you need to re read your post and see the desperation in your letter. you genuinely believe that there is not feelings for his wife. you also believe that they are only together for his son. but what you are not seeing is this.He married her. they had a baby together. he sill has feelings for her. she is not going away now or in the future. they will go back and forth but are bonded to each other. together. he is merley rying to pacify you and just want to ensure that you both continue to have sex . he is actually ashamed of his relationship with you. have you 2 been out in public or is it some few snatched minutes together. "A few months later, i asked him if he was going to leave his wife and he said he would if i wouldn't tell anyone that we'd had a affair behide her back. " this man is covering his tracks. can't you see. he doesn't want this affair in the open. you are his secret and he is ashamed of his secret. what are you only good for. you know the answer to this one. he knows it ans he knows that you are now his faithful f*ck buddy, on the side, to have when he wants to. he even had the gall to tell you he is going back to her but want to continue with you same as before. meaning in the sly. this speaks volumes about him and his feelings for you. this man will continue to lie to you and use you for sex as long as you let him. you may not know this but once he gets back with her he will resume having sex with her just as he had while you two were secretly doing it as well. meaning he is screwing both of you at the same time. the baby is now almost 3. a few months down the line she iwll be pregnant again. this i guarantee. it doesn't matter thay they married because she was pregnant. they married and loves a happy life until he got with you. you made it so easy for him. having sex the same day you shared the 1st kiss. he knows how easy it is to get bet your legs. he is a man, darling. and when they gets easy things they continue with it. because it is easily given.you have 2 choices- self respect for you or a life of misery as the other woman. i also wish you would work on your self esteem issues and insecurities. five yrs from now he will still be with her. this is also guarantted. you will then be living the life of a lonely mistress, who has to keep her big mouth shut, her legs still open, endure pain and humilitaion while he plays happy families.you may not know this but married people have sex too and enjoy it was well. don't be fooled by him thinking he is only doing you. the choice you make may save you years of anguish or may just compound it.
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