A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi there, I am struggling with something similar at the moment. I just got back to the states after 20 days in Mexico where I met this amazing guy. He is perfect in every way - personality wise and we are very compatible with similar interests, values, etc. Thing is I am not totally attracted to him. I mean, he is cute but I am not like damn, you are hot! He had an accident a couple of years back that has left him with one larger eye-bag than the other (a tired bag). It's not a huge thing and he says he is going to get it operated... Don't get me wrong, the guy is pretty attractive and the bag is not like a deformity on his face but it kind of bothers me... When we've had sex I've felt anxious yet turned on at the same time. Turned on bc he is attractive and I love the personality but anxious because I am not that smitten and really that turned on - or as turned on as I'd like to be or have been with previous boyfriends.... I guess the sex is 70% of 100% but the compatibility is 90% of 100%. Since I left I've been missing him dearly, getting teary-eyed, etc. He's really left a mark in me and I am wondering whether I should return to Mexico to see him for another two weeks to see if somehow the personal compatibility offsets the so-so looks? Should I give it a go? I am really tormented with this.... Reply to this Question
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male
reader, der_zyniker +, writes (9 August 2010):
Looks shouldn't matter at all. If you like this guy go and be with him. Looks fade anyway with age. Personality on the other hand doesn't.
A
male
reader, AlexJM87 +, writes (7 August 2010):
You know, here is the kicker...your probably aware just as much as I am that gay relationships do not typically last, and then you ask yourself why...It's because they are SUPERFICIAL. So what if the guy has a deformity, the truth of the matter is that you have met someone special, if you got to know him better, I would be willing to wager money that you wouldn't even see that bag under his eye anymore, love has a way of bringing what I call the "Shallow Hal" effect. There have been guys in my past, who typically I may not have even taken a second look at, but once I got to know them, they were flawless to me, literally. After the point that I actually got to know them, I wouldn't have been able to point out one flaw in them. If you are truly feeling this guy on an emotional level, I am telling you now, if you ditch him because of a physicality, you will probably wonder and regret for the rest of your life why you never gave him a chance. Isnt love a bitch?
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