A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am so worried all the time about everything. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We love each other a lot. However, I worry a lot about his past. The girl he dated before me is beyond beautiful and they dated for a little over a year. They fought a lot, and had an overall bad relationship. But I worry so much because she was very pretty, and hurt him deeply. We began "talking" shortly after they broke up. Shortly after they broke up, he wanted her to see him with me to make her mad/jealous. I can't get over that, and think of it constantly, even though it was years ago. He says he loves me and wants to get married etc. (we're 24). I just have such a tough time getting past his past and am ALWAYS worreid he'll go back to her (I check her fb costantly, etc). Why is this? I also worry a lot that he's cheating on me or lying to me. I also always worry he's going to break up with me (I had a old boyfriend who'd constatnly break up with me) and I just am always worrying. What do I do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHere's the thing. I've always felt that I was a pretty girl. I've had plently of boyfriends, and never felt insecure before. My reasons for feeling this way now is that in the past every other boyfriend began dating me because 1. they liked me as a person and 2. of course there was a physical attraction (the reason why ever man talks to a girl in the first place). With my current boyfriend, we knew each other in the past. We were good friends. Once he broke up with his gf and was heart broken, he came to see me. I feel like he began dating me to get over his ex and this didn't require a physical attraction really. It's so strange I always felt so pretty and now I just don't. I have of course brought it all up to him and he thinks I'm just acting crazy, and it's been years when will I get over his past and he thinks I'm beautiful etc.
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (17 August 2010):
 I know this might seem kind of dim-witted at this point but, have you tried telling him about this? There has to be something he can do to show you how loyal he is to you. I think the other step you need to take is to stop thinking that she's 'beyond beautiful'. She may very well be attractive or pretty or whatever but, if there really is love between you, a shallow attraction can be overcome easily right?
I hope that helps.
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