A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for five years and we have two children together, over the past year our relationship has taken a turn for the worse. He went to prison and then cheated on me and got another girl pregnant. It's actually at the point now where I hate him but I just can't seem to leave. I earn the money and own the house so it's not like I rely on him but I just can't break away and I know that even if I did he would hound me until he came back.We never have sex, we never kiss and when we hug i feel sick. I spend my bus journeys to and from work every day day dreaming of escaping him and me and the children being happy but I can't pluck up the courage to breakaway. I'm scared of the stigma of being a young single mum and scared of what my family will think and feel. I'm terrified that I won't be able to cope on my own and not able to hold down my job-which is important to me to be able to give my children the best.Where can I find the courage to tell him it's over?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2008): Only thing I can really say to you is I am sure it's a extremely hard situation. I know you love your kids. Do you really want them growing up seeing you in a relationship where there is no love?
The psychological effect could be hard on your children. It may be hard to get out but do it for yourself and your kids. You deserve to be happy. Your kids deserve a proper male role model.
I know you can find the strength. Just look in your heart and follow it. I know its telling you to leave for you and your children.
A
female
reader, accused  +, writes (18 October 2008):
 To be honest it sounds like your already a single Mom. Just a single Mom with a lot of baggage and is not your load to carry. I can understand where you are coming from on how people will see you if you do leave this man, but what are they seeing by letting him stay? You pay the bills, care for the children, & you get sick at the thought of him. Hmm Sounds to me like you've become dependent upon hating him. Almost like the "I don't want you, but don't want anyone else to have you". The trust is gone with this man; and as far as coping on your own? Seems your already good at coping... You cope everyday with the hate you feel for him and the joy of breaking away. Do you not think that your children realize that you hate him? your actions are everything for your kids... and if they don't now, trust me they will pick up on it very fast. You are much stronger than you give yourself credit.. You can do this.... and someday look back and know that you did it for all the right reasons... Best of luck
Accused
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