A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I need someone a little open minded who won't judge my husband's past (just for my sanity please).Ok my husband is my best friend's cousin. He saw me at the place that she and I used to work. She set us up the day after my 27th birthday. I fell immediately in love with him (against my own wishes) and now-two years later we have a beautiful 15 month old son, and another on the way. Here is my dilemma. My husband went to prison to finalize some issues he'd had before we got together. He was in there for 4 1/2 months. We had already been together for over a year at the time with an infant together. While he was in there, of course there was no conjugal visits of any kind, and once he got home things between us were very different. Until he went to prison, and for a short while after-we had an AWESOME sex life. I still have the insatiable sex drive I had at the beginning of our relationship and I'm pretty much open to whatever he wants (I've always been the prude until we got together). I'm sure all of this is TMI but I'm trying to give you insight so that someone might be able to help me more if they know what's going on. We went from having daily sexual "episodes" to being lucky to have it 3 times a week and it's always the same, nothing different. I am tired of having to "take care" of myself in that way. It's just not the same without my partner there. What's the point in having a man in your life if you have to take care of yourself ALL the time? I know this is long, but I need help. What do I do? How do I tell him I'd like for him to put out more?
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best friend, cousin, sex drive, sex life Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe's been out of jail since August 9, 2008. We have talked about his ordeal (I'm not as shallow as this sounds but I am the one who posted). I have asked a lot of questions regarding his time there, and he only says that he spent a lot of time reading when he wasn't working, on the phone with me, writing me. I was the only member of his family or friends that went to see him or wrote him. He said he tried to do everything right and not get into trouble so he wouldn't have any time added. And he was released 9 days early due to work performance and doing right.
The only problem he has spoke of was attitudes of other inmates trying to start trouble in canteen lines. Other than that, they left him alone.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2009): Three times a week!? You are so lucky!
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2009): Im not trying to sound mean but hello people. He just got out of jail...... were talking life altering experience here... not a trip to the spa....
let me see here, he is fine before he goes to jail... gets out and has issues... I would have serious adjustments to make mentally... another thing did anything happen while he was in there? Im hearing all about you and thats fine but he's the one who went through a bad ordeal. Watching porn and expecting everything to pick up where you left off is not realistic. I keep rereading your post and everyhing suggest that he is ok physically but something else is bothering him. Talking and maybe backing off a bit might help.
good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks satindesire for the other suggestion as well. And thank you solovley for the porn thing. I took him back on valentine's day here to an adult store and he wouldn't even look at anything with me. The same night I got a porn dvd for us to watch together, and nothing there either. Wearing something sexy does NOTHING either. Marathon sessions are non existent with anything I do. Talking dirty, sending suggestive text messages, telling him I need stress relieved, etc. when we DO do it-as long as he gets his-I'm irrelevant-and it so used to not be the case! We used to have 2-3 hour long sessions and it was great! He seems to think that I'm satisfied now with a total of 10-12 minute long sessions including foreplay LMAO! And we used to enjoy mutual oral sex and now if he gets oral, and ejaculates, he's done. NOTHING at all for me! I just roll over and go to sleep because that's what he does. Now do you see why I'm so high strung and needy??? LOL
I might get his testosterone checked it sounds like something I haven't tried yet.
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A
female
reader, solovley  +, writes (23 April 2009):
maybe try watch a porn film together and it may remind him of all the fun you used to have. sex is extremely important in a relationship and it brings you so much closer. Try get some time alone together, have a few drinks, wear something nice and have a marathon session like you used to, this is what i did as I had the same problem in my relatioship and i feel if we left it any longer than we did we would have been too awkward to have ever brought it up and just resigned ourselves to the fact we were going to have a crap sex life from then on. dont let this happen to you, you deserve good sex! x
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've already done that, but thanks for the help. He shrugs his shoulders and says he don't know what to do.
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