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Our marriage is breaking up and I don't know what to do

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Question - (12 September 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 13 September 2009)
A male United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I am about to lose my wife of 14 years and we have 2 kids as well.

We had a great pressureless life for 10 years (everything went so smooth) and now she started working for about 3 years now and the pressure got to her and it has been bad the last 2 years. she says shes fallen out of love and cant stand me now.

I think i am to blame as well, since i ignored her (ego pride and all the false crap)

i do love her and want to see this through and make it up to her, for the sake of the kids... not sure what to do.

thx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2009):

First off do not do it for the sake of the kids. Do it for the sake of your love.

Woo her.

Wake up early on a day she has off and find some one to watch the kids. Buy 4 or 5 presents for her. Wrap them up and go to some of the places you both share strong memory. Leave a present at each one with hints on where the next one is. Give her a scavenger hunt of love. Tell her she looks beautiful. Make her breakfast in bed.

What is it that she complanes that she doesn't get enough from you? Time? Help around the house? Gifts? Sex?

Understand there are 4 to 5 basic ways we all precept love. Each of us show our love in different ways, but the language we speak it in may not be the language our significant other presceves it in.

IE. some feel love from gifts, not the price tag mind you, but the thought that some one took the time and thought in to finding something that you wold like.

Some feel love through acts of service. taking out the trash, helping them out,

some through words,

Your time, not watching tv together but face to face thoughtful discussion. Try a game of chess or checkers.

others through physical pleasures.

Test them all out. Speak every language of love you can think off and the one she responds to the most is probably her language. Bath her in it until she is full again.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2009):

Get her on a vaction, and reconnect- that is, if she will go... if she's really fallen out of love with you, then the only thing that I can think of is to remind her why seh fell in love with you before.... good luck.

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