A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:(OP's own title)OK I have been living with my gf for 8 months now. The relationship is sometimes rocky but quite serious.Only one thing is really ticking me off!! When I come home from work, there's no sign of my gf. She's off with friends or whatever. I'm OK with that of course. BUT I think she should at least have the curteousy to let me know she's going out. What if I wanted to plan something with her or surprise her??I can try to ring her phone but sometimes she won't answer it because she feels I'm intruding on her time and shouldn't be asking where she is all the time.This really pisses me off. So much so, that I'm considering moving out on her if it keeps up.I think she should have the manners to let me know what she's doing instead of just running around all the time. I feel like I'm dating her casually and not really in a 'serious relationship' when she does this. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (4 July 2010):
 Same advice as always. She has no respect for you. She is walking all over you. You need to call this relationship to a close and leave with as much dignity as you can. Find a new girl next week and start again learning from the mistakes that you made this time.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2010): When you decide to live with someone, you have to understand that although you will still keep your own space, as in having separate time out with friends, you have to remember both people MUST consider the other, as what you do, or don't do, has a direct hit on them. As is the case with your girlfriend.Living with someone means a 50-50 input, compromise, consideration and should NOT be treated as though you live at home with Mum and Dad, where you come and go as you please, and from your message your girlfriend appears to view living with you, as the latter.If the relationship is rocky, and from the sounds of it, has been for the full eight months you've lived together, was your girlfriend really ready or emotionally mature enough to move in with you?Perhaps your girlfriend is out as much as she is, because she prefers to be single, as there is no mention of other times when you may do couple things together, just that she's out a lot, turns her phone off, or won't pick-up, which yes, I would view as bad manners especially as you live together.I think you really have to try and talk to her about this calmly - NOT when she just gets back from one of her nights out when you're already wound up. Wait for the right moment, and really discuss what it means for both of you to live together, how does she view living with you, are your ideas about being a couple so different that it's unlikely to work long-term. It is better to resolve the issues now, than wait and let the situation fester. You may have to face that this is not the relationship for you.I wish you well..Jilly x
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