A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i'm a final year university student and have been very close friends with a girl on my course since my first year. when we first met we hit it off immeadiatly and had sex several times. at the time though neither of us wanted a relationship at the beggining of university as we both wanted to 'play the field' a bit and we have since seen a string of other people. despite this we've always been quite close, had the same friends, joined the same social clubs together each year, helped each other with coursework and generally hung out together. we're at the end of our degrees now and i'm single and she's been in an on/off relationship for about a month. i don't think this relationship will last very long as he doesn't seem to care much about her and she wont hang around if it continues much longer. i have always been quite fond of her and recently even more so. the problem is i wish to tell her but i'm not sure wat her reaction will be as it has been a long time (nearly 2 years) since we had any sexual contact between the 2 of us and we've just been very close friends. i have no idea how to bring it up or to explain that i have feelings for her, and ontop of that its quite difficult to find the right moment to do so. i find intimate conversation of this kind difficult at the best of times but i can do it with someone new, its just that we've been such good friends for so long that i would seem really random and out of the blue. i've recently tried dropping a few suttle hints but she doesn't seem to pick up on wat i'm trying to portray. what makes this worse it that in about 10 days its likely we wont see each other all summer as shes going abroad with her family and i dont want to miss the boat on it and her get into another relationship before i have a chance to say something, i'm not even sure if she'll be able to come back in september because we wont be students anymore and paying for things may be a problem till she can find a job. i just have no idea how to go about this, how to bring it up, wat to say when i do bring it up, not to mention thinking of her reacton. i guess i'm quite scared of its effect on our friendship if shes not interested, though i have thought it through and its something i definately want. please help me, i would be gratefull for any suggestions.
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female
reader, Spl-ash +, writes (13 June 2007):
 Hi,
bet you did lots of thinking lately and pictured lots of senarios… one thing you are sure about is that you want to tell her how you feel, you probably left it a bit too late though.
How about you invite her round yours for a movie night? Get her favourites… set the atmosphere low lights, have a good laugh get close and tell her. See how she takes it. Cause if you don’t tell her she will never know. If you’ve been close for so long you probably will feel comfortable talking to her, say it from the heart, that you’ve known each other for quit long and you are pretty close so you wonder how it will be the two of you give it a try… be sincere not playful. Might be nice if you look her straight in the eyes and tell her your feelings for her are growing.
Or you can do the ‘I know this friend of mine who likes that friend of his, he isn’t sure how to tell her as he values her friendship….’
Well wish you all the best and let us know how it goes….
X X X
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionin response to the answer i recieved; its a nice idea but is basicly impossible to carry out in a practical situation, think of the questions you would ask someone new, the conversations you would have. i already know the answers to them all, anyone you know already is gonna think your being quite wierd if you started doing that. and to be truthfull i am not very good at intimate converation, i have great difficulty expressing myself and always feel tense and awkward. not too mention how cheesy i think i sound when doing it.
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A
male
reader, nologo  +, writes (11 June 2007):
 Phrase "play the field" has been overused.
Accent here should have been on the field.
Read your story to get a general impression of it and to be true it sounds a bit too pessimistic apart from this:
"i find intimate conversation of this kind difficult at the best of times but i can do it with someone new"
Then try this approach - think that SHE is someone new to you.
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