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No valentine...

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Question - (15 February 2009) 11 Answers - (Newest, 17 February 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

If a guy (who you are supposedly seeing) didn't send you a Valentine even though he got one in return - does this mean he just doesn't care??

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2009):

i know! ...i find myself in the same predicament. although i KNOW it is 'just' an over-rated 'holiday', i somehow feel let down that i guess "i am lacking whatever it takes" to prompt men to strive to impress their lady...it's almost as if since he thinks he has 'won me over' there was no need to. (and especially b/c he has never even had a girlfriend on valentine's day)! so i guess...although he said as our 'gift' we could do whatever i wanted, that he secretly had something in mind. Anyway, we did end up just going out to see a band...and i (did) decide on that (after all it was six o'clock at night and good luck going to dinner on vday at that hour)! ...also i kept saying that day that i thought it was "no big deal" and "over-rated" i should keep that in mind...kind of set myself up i guess. maybe it's not so good to seem so laid buy...i mean, don't guys like to try to impress their ladies!?!?!? hmmmm....

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for all of your replies! - My man isn't really one to flash his cash - so I can see why he wouldn't want to buy a card! - The thing that puzzles me is we were meant to meet up and he said he had my card to give me - yet I still havn't seen it - Oh well - thats men I guess!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2009):

You do not give something and expect something return.

The whole point o giving someone a card or a gift is that YOU wanted to do something for THEM. Selflessly.

It doesn't matter if you didn't get one back. Thats not the point of gifts.

Flynn 24

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2009):

sorry but with the commercialization of v-day guys do not simply forget, however, guys do say it's no bigee. getting nothing, not even a card either means 'he's not that into you, OR he's objecting on grounds of principle'. find out which it is. good luck

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2009):

Valentines Day is a funny one; sometimes it seems to do more harm than good. i find it weird that some people have such a bee in their bonnet about it- for not liking it!- it seems such a well intentioned holiday! -and you can make a card if you're so concerned about the commercial aspect of it! It just seems that there are so many worse things to find angst about about before ppl need to start complaining about Valentines day!

That said, i can see the point in disliking being pressganged into sudden displays of emotion, and it can seem rather false with the mass produced 'i love you' cards and flowers; picking one off the production line.

I'm also not sure that you should Have to Ask for something- that's even more forced! -and picking your own flowers paying with his credit card is hardly gonna make you feel better!

I think communication does seem to be the heart of it. If you were concerned he was the sort of man who would neglect to buy you anything, it might've been worth a quiet word in his ear beforehand, even to iron out how much you both planned to do for it so one person doesnt spend five time as much as the other. Even after the event, talk to him and find out how he feels about it. He may just be in the large categorary of men who dislike the occasion. But how he reacts when he finds out that he inadvertantly hurt you should reveal the crux of his feelings towards you.

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A male reader, The Gentle Man United Kingdom +, writes (15 February 2009):

The Gentle Man agony auntFact: Valentines Day is a womans day. This is a holiday that just doesnt jump out of the calendar for men.

If the only thing that makes u think he is not interested is no valentines day gift, then that doesnt mean anything.

Hope this helps.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2009):

Ive been going out with my man for 18months and i got nothing either. Most my friends were going away for the weekend with their boyfriends and has left me feeling like shit. So i had the same question. although we did go for dinner tonight.

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A female reader, ilovemb United Kingdom +, writes (15 February 2009):

ilovemb agony auntnnnnaaaaa!!! men r men and have terrible memories...could be late but wateva....seriously...they have TERRIBLE memories...they forget there own birthdays!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2009):

it could turn up on Monday? ok being optimistic. but seriously men forget, are busy and are stupid. and dont like being pressganged into a commercial exploitation. thats my excuse and i am sticking to it.

Just make sure he knows you didn't get one... and you are waiting.

Hugs Star.x.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2009):

Both me and my boyfriend forgot about it all together, no biggy if u ask me

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2009):

No. Just because he didn't give a card doesn't mean he doesn't care.

I think most guys simply don't care about Valentine's. To them it's just a very stupid meaningless holiday.

I have a boyfriend and we didn't give each other anything on Valentine's. It made me a bit sad, but I understand how he doesn't care about the holiday. My friends go through the same thing.

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