A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I met this lovely guy about 2 months ago...things were going really well, he was very attentive, always wanting to see me, call me etc. I noticed a few weeks ago that things quietened down a little and he didnt call so much but we have both been busy so didn't think too much of it. We were still seeing each other once or twice a week. Anyway from a brief conversation with him about previous relationships I found out that his ex split up with him about 6 months ago. I think it was her decision..he said the relationship had gone stale and he didn't help things as he wanted to go travelling at the time. They had been going out 2.5 years and lived together for just under a year. When we met up last he mentioned that he had been invited to a house party and all his friends were going but he wasn't sure whether to or not...i asked why not and he said cos of a certain girl who would be there (his ex). I didn't really say much as didn't want to tell him what to do.He ended up going and later on I saw pictures that his ex had posted on a social networking site. There were a few of my fella and everything looked fine....i also got to see what the ex looked like in the pics. Now the problem I have is a week or two before the party his family came over to visit him and he took a few days off work to spend with them. He then posted the pics on the web and now that I have looked at them I notice that his ex is in one or two of them as well so he obviously asked her to go out with them on one or two of the days.Am I being paranoid here? I know they went out for quite a while and she was probably close to his family and their kids too but it just seems a little strange.I really dont know what to do...we haven't had a discussion about our relationship as such so I have no idea how he really perceives us. I really feel like I need to bring up the ex and maybe where he sees things heading with us as I dont want to waste my time if he still has hopes they will get back together or something. I just dont know how to do this in a casual way and without looking as though I have been prying! Also as its only been a couple of months I dont want to get all heavy but its going to eat me up otherwise. Please help x
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female
reader, Legioness +, writes (20 June 2009):
 I wouldn't mention the ex, not yet anyway. Talk to him about your relationship and such, see what he says, at least then you'll have some idea where you're standing and what he feels about your relationship and where you're going. If, in the worse scenario he says something other than what you'd want to hear, then perhaps he might answer the ex question for you, and stem into that, and if not, and if you really do feel the need to be in the know then perhaps do what you gotta do and ask him, see how it goes first though ok :)
A
female
reader, betty_black +, writes (19 June 2009):
 I dont care how long they were together, he should be taking you to meet his parents not taking along his ex! I'd be so pissed off if i was you. Yeah ask him what the hells going on and why hes still seeing her all the time. You have a right to know.
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