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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi there, I am 20 year old who is a little confused just now... I have always dated guys until last year, where i finally built up the courage to go to gay clubs and tell my friends that i am attracted to females!! Since then i got into a relationship with a great girl but things just don't seem to be working out between us. I have been with her for 9 months but have now had to move back home with the parents, who now know that i am bi and aren't taking it very well. They can't get their heads round that i am attracted to both sexes and are trying to get me to put myself into a category!!! I have tried to explain to them that i am just me and i happened to fall in love with a female but now they think it is the end of the world. I do understand it is a shock for them, but they are not trying to understand or even offer me support. As it is just now, i have ended the relationship with my g/f as do not love her the way she loves me... she is really clingy and constantly phoning me!! I am trying to be calm and understand that she loves me and I have hurt her, but i can't force my feelings to change!This all sounds a little messed up, i just don't know what to do with my parents!!! I have moved to my aunts for 2 weeks seen as she is on holiday and wanted to give them space, but has anyone been through the same experience, and is able to offer me any advice on how to handle my parents? And secondly what will i do about my ex? I want to start going out to the gay bars/clubs again but Glasgow isn't very big and i wouldn't know what to do if i was to bump into her and i was with someone else!!!Hope someone has some good advice for me....ThanksD x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2006): well i'm gay myself. so i can understand where you're coming from. and i have a lot of gay friends, as well. the thing with your parents is that if you give them time, hopefully they will come around. i think at first, like grieving, they will deny your sexuality. even tell you that you really aren't gay, pointing out all the boys you've been with, etc. but then slowly, they will realize that you are still their daughter, no matter if you love guys or girls. you've just got to give it time for it to sink in to them. so i think you being away for a couple of weeks is great for all parties involved.
about your girl. i don't know what to telly you. if you think it's over, then stick with that. and don't be afraid to go out just because you may bump into her. it'll be awkward at first, especially if she sees you with another girl. but at least then, she'll get the point that it's finalized. anyway, good luck to you. and i wish you the best with your parents, seeing as how i COMPLETELY understand where you're coming from.
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