A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a colleague at work and am getting very confused by her actions. We are both women of the same age she is single and I am attatched. I really like her and have done for months. She is in charge of the department where i work but is not my manager. she helps me out and has got me out of a potentially serious situation in my job, she allows me to work on the jobs that I enjoy and even changes my managers rota to do this I always help her in any way I can and she has said she appreciates this. I have kissed her a couple of times just as thank you's for helping me out and I am a very touchy feely sort of person and very often hug her which she doesn't have a problem with either. Despite all this she won't be alone with me or on the same lunch. If my manager does, she goes out, something she normally doesn't do. she says there is no problem but often watches me and I recently got caught in a lingering gaze with her. I am so confused. She doesn't reveal much about herself. i know she lives on her own but not if she is straight. I am finding it hard to cope working with her what can I do?
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female
reader, Cyg79  +, writes (27 May 2008):
 hmm... Are there any work repercussions other then gossip, that could happen if you two where to enter into a relationship? If there are any other women/colleagues that you get along with in the office, you could try and form a group thing. Such as ladies night/ singles night out, or lunch. Otherwise, you could step out on a limb and see if she would like to do something together as friends. I think as long as you keep it friendly no bridges will be burned to make your work life ocward.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008): Well it sounds quite promising and from what you've said, she could be hiding how she feels a bit. If you are ever in a group or something it'd be good if someone brings up the topic or homosexuality or something and see how she reacts, like if she looks at you or something? xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIn reply to hope 123 Yes I am attracted to her and have been for months. If I am upset or unwell she always seems very concerned and is the only one who ever thanks me if I help out with anything. We can have a real laugh and with out sounding too over the top has a wonderful smile. I have tried to speak to her alone but it never seems to work out right or perhaps I am just too scared of being rejected.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2008): Do you think that you would be able to confront her about it? Try and find some way of being alone with her without her having the option to leave, that way you could probably tell better. Are you attracted to her?
This sounds quite complicated, because in the workplace with other people around it can be difficult to read someone as they could be acting different simply because of the stress of work or anything like that.
Keep me posted! Good luck!
xx Hope xx
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