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My virgin girlfriend doesn't want to have sex. What do I do now?

Tagged as: Sex, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 November 2009) 11 Answers - (Newest, 30 November 2009)
A male Nigeria age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have a girlfriend and she is a virgin and i want 2 hav sex with her but she refused.so i don't know what 2 do.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2009):

Respect her decision. If she doesnt want to it's for a reason. If you really love her then you would wait as long as it takes. If not, then just leave her now. She's not going to want to be with some guy that all he wants to do is have sex with her. Wait until she's ready, and she herself will probably let you know.

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A female reader, Stranger. United States +, writes (29 November 2009):

Stranger. agony auntwait. dUh.

i mean if you love her then wait.

if you just want action, tell her before you break

her heart.

but if you do love her you'll wait.

i have been with my bf for 7 months and i dont think im ready yet as well.

and since he does care about me he said he'll wait.

i dont just want to have sex with a guy just cuz im in the mood.

i want that special someone.

and most girls do too.

all you CAN do is wait.

or try to see if she's okay with your hand down there.

or try dryhumping.

but be safe.

sperm can go thro clothes.

just keep that in mind.

:)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2009):

Wait until she is ready.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2009):

My answer to you is what it should be.I completely understand that this is normal today in most of the countries,but I still believe in purity.If I were you I would respect her wish and do my best not to lose her.It is rare and uniqe to me to hear that there is someone thinks in this way.May God bless her and give you patient.

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (28 November 2009):

Miamine agony auntVirgin girlfriend, refuses sex.. well you respect her and wait.. she's waiting for marriage, if you love her, then propose and get married and have sex.

Otherwise, enjoy her company, personality and beauty, and leave sex alone. When it get's too frustrating, tell her and find another girl.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2009):

You better wait till she's ready and not put any pressure on her, that's what! Firstly, a girls virginity is a gift and once it's gone, you can't get it back. Secondly, are you aware it can be bloody scary for us the first time as it might hurt? If you can't understand that then you don't deserve to be in a relationship. Wait for her to come to you (no pun intended).

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A female reader, allycat72871 United States +, writes (28 November 2009):

you didnt mention her age but please have some patience i am female aged 38 and i never forgave myself for giving up my virginity at 18 im a pretty woman and self esteem is her thinking i was too stupid to think of my own now 20 years later 2 steady boyfriends and married 10 years all three guys have given me nothing but heartache and stress i do do do for them or did and im sad lonley and all because i gave myself away and got nothing back

she wants that respect and deserves it if uyou can't wait there are alot of loose ones out there and then you will be the one hurt good luck

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A female reader, allycat72871 United States +, writes (28 November 2009):

you didnt mention her age but please have some patience i am female aged 38 and i never forgave myself for giving up my virginity at 18 im a pretty woman and self esteem is her thinking i was too stupid to think of my own now 20 years later 2 steady boyfriends and married 10 years all three guys have given me nothing but heartache and stress i do do do for them or did and im sad lonley and all because i gave myself away and got nothing back

she wants that respect and deserves it if uyou can't wait there are alot of loose ones out there and then you will be the one hurt good luck

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2009):

This is a very simple answer: respect her wishes or move on. If you truly love your girlfriend and see a future with her, sex should not be the only thing to make or break a relationship. My girlfriend and I have been dating for more than five years and she is the same way because she desires to wait until her wedding night, which I completely respect.

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A female reader, Accountable United Kingdom +, writes (28 November 2009):

Accountable agony auntWell if you love her you'll have to wait for her to comfortable with the idea of sex. You can't force her into it, and if you respected her you wouldn't want to anyway. Just be affectionate with her, don't resent her - its her choice. Be patient.

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A female reader, DiamondGirlx United Kingdom +, writes (28 November 2009):

DiamondGirlx agony auntOKAY what you have to understand is that for most girls their virginitiy is like a precious stone which they dont want jus anyone taking away from them.

they want to know that the person cares about them, they can trust that person, he isnt just going to use her for sex,

also she might be scared? some girls think its extrememly painful to have sex for the 1st (i know its not but thats the way some think)

Ask her why she doesnt want to have sex yet she'll give you a reason then, dont rush her into anything otherwise you cud lose her andim sure that you wudnt want to do that

good luck :) D.Gx

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