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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: So, here's my question. I know there are a lot of these on here and I know that I might sound stupid for asking. I know that because of the situation i could NEVER be with the guy - I just want to know what everyone thinks about this.So my art teacher - Let's call him Mr X - does a lot of things that, if he were my age, would mean he liked me. It's only that he's my teacher that makes it confusing. Here are some of the things he's done :#1 - I look at him and find him staring at me a lot#2 - Tickled my side#3 - If my friend and I are talking too much, he'll give my friends a word or two, but he won't tell me off for it.#4 - He brushes his hand against mine sometimes#5 - He spents a lot of time around me and my friend#6 - Once, I was sitting at my desk and he came over, looked me RIGHT in the eye and said 'I LIKE the look of THAT' with a little smirk. He continued staring at me until I asked 'What?' and he changed the subject by talking about my drawing.#7 - I was at my desk and I sensed him close, so I looked and his face was about 6 inches away from my own, and he said he was 'Just testing me'#8 - He shouted on me as I was leaving class to tell me to tell someone else something that was extremely trivial.#9 - He was talking about an actress with the same name as me and he called her beautiful before saying 'I only remember her name because of that. If it was something stupid I wouldn't remember it' - basically meaning he only remembers her name because it's the same as mine.#10 - When I first got him we didn't really interact and the first drawing I did he said was basically rubbish [in other words] then later on in the term I told him that he had said it was pretty rubbish and that I had got annoyed... then he started saying it was good etc - seemed as if he was trying to make up for it.#11 - If I ever stand REALLY close to him e.g once he was leaning on the table doing something and I stood right at his side and looked over his shoulder, really close, so that i could see, and he didn't move like most people would.And finally #12 - When he's talking to the class he stands right in-front of my desk [i don't sit at the front of class] and makes a lot of eye contact with me - more than any other kid in the class.Do you think he likes me or anything like that?? As I said, I know I can't ever have anything with him and if I did it'd be illegal. My question is basically - DOES HE LIKE ME??
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2011): i know this is REALLY late but i have the same thing.i have this teacher who stares at me a lot and finds so many random stupid things to talk about, he stands near me in assembly and i have even seen him staring at me through windows and he knew my full name after 3 years not teaching me...i don't know whether he likes me or not but i love him so its very confusing, i would be too shy to talk to him about it and know it probably wouldn't go anywhere because of job etc. i would say he probably does but the face to face thing seems a bit creepy... just thought id share i know how you feel.i say at least leave talking to him until you leave school.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): I still think it's creepy to be talking about this as if a relationship were really a possible and desirable thing between teachers and pupils under 18.
Think about how easy it would be to make a 6 year old think that you're the best human in the world, and take advantage of him for anything! If your teacher is really flirting with you and "grooming" you for a relationship, he is abnormal and really too dangerous to be a subject for your interest.
On the other hand, many teachers have a parental love for their students, which can be warm and physical, but mistaken by kids especially those who are not used to physical affection in their families. Just like you might have the impulse to give a sweet kindergartner a hug and a swing, someone with a fatherly feeling for you might caress your hair or pat your hand. I have also noticed that some teachers use a flirtatious way with their students almost as a technique to keep the kids engaged and to sort of bring them to behave at an adult level.
I don't mean to make light of your maturity, it's just that asking yourself if your teacher is interested in you and considering the possibility of reciprocity is a blind avenue of inquiry. Whether it is or isn't, the best course is to assume it is just friendliness and to do your best to maintain an emotional distance.
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female
reader, Kate.  +, writes (14 July 2008):
My teacher acts like this.
Except he doesn't do the whole face to face thing that your teacher does.
When I first had him, he called the register and he called my whole name and then he said he had a girlfriend once with the same last name as mine.
Could have just been a pure coinsident, untill he moved me and my mates for chatting to much and he put me right at the front and kept turnibg his chair around and working on my desk so we were like nearly touching.
And he did that once he made a fuss over a drill piece but the end result was we were touching hands and he told me I had a lovley nose after I choked on a sandwhich.
So yeah maybe he does like you.
But do you want a relationship with him.
And why can't it happen it could when you finish school.
So don't give up hope if it is what you really want.
And if you want to talk further about this email me.
I have the same problem and he stares at me all the time as well.
If you want to talk email me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2008): Its the holidays, and he might've got over you. I'm assuming you don't see him in the holidays by the way.
I've tried to write a post for this 3 times now, this being the 3rd...
Lets get it right this time...
I think if you just avoid him a bit as in, not letting him spend as much time with you, but talking to him amicably and not giving him any reason to think otherwise, then a friendship would be possible. You need to try and give him the chance for the friendship to happen.
If however he continues to do what you listed, or you feel uncomfortable or anything like that, tell a teacher. Its obvious then that the friendship cannot occur.
If a teacher and a student are close then thats when friendship can occur. But if one out balances the other then the other one tends to have to try and push the other one up to make it balance. Think of it like a weighing scale.
I do strongly believe that he likes you, but if he can't control himself and settle for friendship then you'll have to do something about it.
Friendship with him can only happen if he wants friendship and not more.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOkay, thanks Diovan, and yes, the latest post was much clearer.Thanks for your help on this matter. I'll try to ignore any of the signs in future, cus as you said, it probably is best that I don't get the wrong idea - i agree there.You really think he's just a teacher who's very proud of a student? Well then if he's just very proud of me and if you are right, well then I'm actually really quite happy!!! If he's proud of me and just really likes me as a pupil and stuff, I guess that's actually really good.Just - one more thing. Gecko posted earlier that he and I could be friends? I've read plenty of posts on here about pupil/teacher friendships and they seem to be completely open. I can have great banter with him, but there are some things I don't say just incase it makes him sorta...fall out with me or something stupid? How do I get over that and be able to talk to him just like a friend?Thanks =]
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2008): I can totally understand what you are going through, but he probably doesnt fancy you, maybe just see's you as a favorite. I left school about 1 month ago, however I thought one of my teachers was flirting with me because if he was my age it would be classed as flirting! He did things like...
*come behind be and massage my shoulders
*give me compliments for eg saying, your hair looks nice and you look really pretty
*he would laugh and giggle at some things I said
*make direct eye contact with me
*if he was writing next to me he would make contact with my hand
*smile at me all the time
*put his arm round me
I just thought writing this would help you becasue you know that someone else is in the same situation :)
xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2008): Sorry babes, thanks very much for the update. I appologise and I should have been clearer in my response. I'm very scared about teachers who have relationships with girls and boys, so I read your post very carefully for signs of any abuse. There is nothing in your post that suggests your teacher has anything other than a small affection for you, I don't know why, maybe you are clever or well behaved in class. Everything your teacher is doing seems normal to me, and there is nothing that I see except a teacher who is very proud of a student. But there seems nothing else there, and it would best if you don't get the wrong idea. Sorry, take care of you. Blessings.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you, diovan, for your opinion.
i know perfectly well that no romance is in the air, or that I cannot have a relationship with him.
All I was wondering from here was that if the things he were doing were just me being stupid or if I was right to consider his actions.
I do respect your opinion, and I know that it's HIGHLY unlikely he has any feelings for me. I just don't see the things he does as 'normal' for a teacher. Yes, the staring and things is fine - it's explainable. But never in my life have I seen or heard another teacher saying to another pupil 'I LIKE the look of THAT' or any of those kinds of things.
I'm not saying it means he has feelings for me... not at all. Just saying it's a bit...odd, that's all.
But as I said, thank you for opinions on my question.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2008): No thats possibly true.
Sorry I'm tired and what I'm saying is making next to no sense.
I do understand how you feel but its tricky to get over someone. I haven't got over one myself, but I do know that the best way - and Diovan has suggested this to me herself - is to fall in love with someone else.
Easier said than done I must say.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2008): Perhaps a little one Gecko, but no romance is in the air.
Please dear caller, spend more time with your girlfriends, hobbies and interests, you cannot have a relationship with this man, so there is nothing more to say.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2008): And so it begins Diovan...muhahhaaa!!
As she said, he does stuff differently with her than with anyone else. We've already decided that nothing is going to happen and I really, REALLY recommend you try and get over him now.
But I think he does at the very least have a soft spot for her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2008): There are no signs that your teacher has romantic feelings for you. The way he is treating you is normal behaviour for teachers. Your imagining things. This man likes you, but he likes his other students too. You are a child to him and he dosen't see you as anything else.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionGecko,
Uhu, I do try and not think about him as much and stuff, and I know you probably just view it as an infatuation, but it's kinda hard not to think about him when there are so many things that remind me of him.
It's the holidays now, so it's not so bad... but it's really quite hard when I'm in his class three periods a week. And like I mentioned...he does spend a lot of time with us and around us...
Although I really do appreciate you trying to help me out here. It's really good to be able to talk about this properly without being judged for it... thank you!! =]
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2008): Again, and I know whose going to disagree with me on this, you could be friends. However he'll probably use that to his advantage, think you like him and then you can get into all kinds of difficulties.
I suggest you try and avoid him a bit until he gets over you...
And vice verse...because there will be someone, when you get older, that will love you forever and will be as mature, bright and intelligent as he may appear to you.
I was going to say something but it just flashed straight out of my head. I'll type it in if I remember it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Gecko, for your input.
I wouldn't have a relationship with him, because I know that I'd get him into trouble and I would never want to ruin his life like that because I feel too much for him.
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female
reader, PsyCookie  +, writes (13 July 2008):
 I think he just think's you're cute and likes you as your friend.
You said it yourself, if he were YOUR age it would mean he likes you. Older guys don't act like that around a girl they like and are more straightforward. Remember, he's not your age and thus he will not act like that. And also remember that he is a teacher and would most likely restrain himself from anything. To me, his activites are only friendly and nothing more. Probably he has seen you have gotten better at drawing and likes that improvement, like most teachers do.
So the thing left to do is to make him sure to respect you. Good luck and don't think too much on this, just enjoy the time in the classroom.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2008): I think he does. Just my personal opinion.
But you can't just go up to someone, particularly him, and ask them straight out.
If its bothering you, as in you don't want it to happen and your feeling intimidated by it, your doing nothing wrong. Talk to your teacher about it. Not your art teacher, as in your form teacher or Head Master/Mistress. Talk to your parents if you feel comfortable with that.
But only if its really puzzling you. I suggest you talk to a teacher and say your feeling whatever.
So to answer your question, yes I think he does. By the way, if you do want a relationship with him, be weary of the consequences.
It would be hypocritical though for me to say don't do it.
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