| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Partner's 35 yr. old daughter refuses to acknowledge or speak to me.Joe and I have been living together for 2 years. We are 55 and 60 yrs. old. We Both have been married twice.His daughter won't call the house, if she does, by mistake, and I answer, she hangs up. She always calls his cell. At family events she turns her back. I am getting really sick and tired of this. I am not happy to be the one who cooks thanksgiving dinners, wrap presents etc. for someone who is so rude and bad mannered. She did the SAME thing with his last 2 relationships...and, when they ended, she became good friends with the women!Help? Too many feelings to sort out.Thanks, Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2006): It seems this adult daughter's hatred for you has nothing to do with you. The truth is that she just doesn't like to see her father with a girlfriend. This is alarmingly, immature behaviour for a grown woman and she obviously has some problems. But remember, these are her troubles..she owns them. Talking to her, yourself, won't help. But it might be useful if her Father can speak with her. In the meantime, you need to change your attitudes and perspectives on this whole issue.. Rather than feeling hurt and unaccepted by this woman, just learn to detach yourself emotionally from her and her behaviours. It will be tough but I learned a long time ago, in family situations...that a bright smile and a giving heart helps one feel better inside, especially when someone is being an ass. Holding a grudge and being angry back at her, isn't going to help your love relationship with him or your continued relationship with the rest of the family. Just accept she isn’t going to behave nicely to you and you need to go beyond this. I do not mean that you have to agree with or put up with her poor behavior. You look for effective ways to not allow her to 'get to you'. By simply just detaching yourself from her while continuing to be respectful, pleasant and polite to everyone. That is what is required in difficult family relationships. So keep cooking those wonderful dinners, and wrapping those presents, etc..but do it because you want to give. Not because you want to gain her acceptance because she'll just simply refuse to give it. Being gracious and respectable, is good because then you know you are too classy and nice, to stoop to her level. Try not to allow it to worry you. Good Luck and stay strong.
|
