A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi I posted here before and found it really helpful so I thought to post again with an issue I have that is causing me a lot of distress.I have been with my partner for 6 yrs but the last year was on/off - mostly due to him being bitter about his divorce from his ex and being moody etc .. it was a difficult relationship but had good bits too ..Anyway to cut a long story short, we were getting on quite ok but i saw him a few weeks ago and we had a nice weekend, then out of the blue, he seemed to go moody again and when I asked him about it he sent me a very stroppy email and in it he mentioned one of my daughters (they don't get along at all) and he referred to her as a 'brat'. She was trying to read what I was doing over my shoulder (she is 17) and I asked her not to do this .. but she had already seen it.She then went off and sent him a very very insulting email which has inflamed things much much more. I have been unwell and am in the thick of this. He was wrong to send the email but I feel that she was wrong to get involved in the way she did. I feel as though I have no privacy and am surrounded by people behaving just as they please. She was very very cutting in her email to him and the result is that it all escalated and I have not seen him for a few weeks and although we are speaking, he is refusing to meet up to discuss it all. We do still care for each other and I know this might sound slightly as if I am over reacting but I am really stressed and I feel that it has turned into a 'free for all' and I am caught in the middle of it all.My ex partner was rude in his email but I feel that although he mentioned her (she has been very difficult in the past but is overall doing OK now, concentrating on her A levels etc) she should not have gone off and sent him such a terrible email. She called him some awful names and was insulting and cutting in a way that could really really hurt someone permanently. If anyone has any advice re how to deal with this I would be very grateful as it causing me a lot of distress. I think he cannot face me which is why he is refusing to meet up and will only speak on the phone .. but I feel that he is the adult here and should be more mature. I have been having anxiety attacks because of all the stress and just wanted to get some balanced outside views because I am very caught up in my own stress and upset and feel like I am battling to resolve something that is almost impossible to resolve. I miss my ex partner and we were starting to rebuild a friendship and now everything seems to have gone crazy. My older daughter is more reasonable and calm overall which is helpful. My younger daughter is very cheeky and ignores instructions and refuses to help in the house and feels able to speak rudely to people as and when it suits her which does not help the situation.Any comments would be appreciated. Thanks for your time.
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