A
female
age
41-50,
*ose01
writes:Hi alli was recently married and am very happy with my husband we have complete trust in one another the problem is my mother. A few nights ago i went out with my brother in law and got a lift home from a male friend my mother found out and is now not talking to me and called me a slapper said i was making a fool of myself and that everyone would be talking my husband has no issue as he knows the guy and is fine with us being friends but its making things very bad at home Advice would be welcome Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2009): Hello, I posted the first reply. I can't agree with the second poster; catholic or not, women are not prisoners of men. this is the 21st century. women do not have to be scared by gossip or made to feel they are dirty for innocent relationships. they never should have been. it is a sick society where men and women cannot be friends.still, i think i now understand a little more about your mother. you obviously have had an intense and loving relationship which has been made more so by the fact that she has no partner and you have needed her support as an adult. Now you are happily married and she possibly feels threatened and excluded and alone. I am very sorry about your father, but has your mother never thought about moving on? has she tried to have fun out of life again?I wish you could talk to her and let her see how irrational her behaviour is. how would you react if she got a lift from a male friend? i think she also needs reassurance that you love her, and reminding that a new marriage needs time and space, and so your relationship with her has to change in practical details. But she is still your mother and always will be. Reassurance, trust and love; that's what i advise! Good luck (and don't take it too much to heart if it doesn't work at once).
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2009): Its my mother not my mother in law i got pregnant at sixteen so she has always been there for me my father passed away several years ago
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2009): Wow, your mother really is being strange and unbalanced. Is she OK in herself? How is her marriage? If you can undrstand where she's coming from and why she might be behaving so destructively then it might help. She sounds like she is jealous of any small freedom you have. How has your father treated her?You say your husband is fine - and why would he not be? are you a prisoner? - but add that it's causing problems at home. Why are you both not able to laugh about it together and shrug it off? Or do you live with your mother?If so I think you shouldn't.On one hand this is a ridiculous fuss about nothing, which deserves to be laughed at. On the other it seems as though you are having to fight for your personal dignity and freedom. If you can't help your mother see that her behaviour's unnacceptable then rise above her. But don't give up!
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