A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Dear Agony Aunt My marriage has suffred recently through my obsession with one of our friends who is also married. When I had too much to drink the other night I revealed to her that I watched her undress. Now just when my marriage was beginning to get back on track I have done this most stupid thing and told her. I don't know why I did it. Now she is of course avoiding talking to me and we are due to go visit in a couple of weeks and it is all going to come out in the open and ruin my marriage for good. I am in a hopeless situation. I am truly sorry for what I did there was absolutely no excuse. I have now put all our friendships in jeopardy. What can I do?? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2008): We all do things we really regret when we've had a skin-full. And we all have difficult feelings at some time or another. Don't be too hard on yourself. Either try and contact her beforehand and apologise and explain (you obviously will have done a lot of thinking about what it is you would say if you got the chance) or just go along and hope nothing is said. If I was in her position, I'd want to talk to you about it before saying anything to your wife - I'm sure she wouldn't want to hurt your wife by just telling her. You were drunk and people do and say some very strange things when they're drunk (me included)! Best of luck x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2008): You watched her undress - like a peeping tom I presume - and then told her what you did? I'm surprised you didn't get a slap around the back of the head both from her and her husband! I think I would definitely have kept quiet about that sort of behaviour unless I wanted the roof to come crashing down on my head.However, the damage is done. All I can suggest is that you apologise profusely and hope she wasn't too offended. Do it before this planned visit to check that you'll still be welcome. I'm not surprised she's not talking to you - you've f****d up in fine style. You'll just have to take on the chin all the crap that's inevitably going to come your way if your wife and this woman's husband find out. It might be best to tell her before anyone else does.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2008): If she does not want to talk to you I think you should find some excuse to avoid the visit. Hopefully with time the dust will settle and she will laugh about it and realize not to take it to serius,the talk of a "drunk" man.
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