| A
female
,
*ra11
writes: I'm not too sure what to make of my relationship with man who has recently decided to work on his marriage (he has been separated for 2.5 years). I have told him that it's best we break off this special relationship, but it seems he wants to continue. He says he misses me and things we've done, and two nights ago he suprised me late at night by delivering 14 roses to me (he lives on the other side of the city). I truly love him. Just wondering if he loves me...What did the roses mean? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2005): Hi :)I cannot really tell what's in your married boyfriend's mind, but the fact that he wants to work on his marriage and is sending you flowers at the same time, show he is willing to keep both you and his wife (maybe for different reasons).I would suggest you to get in touch with your feelings and reassess this relationship with your boyfriend. I would have a open and true conversation with him to find out what he is up to. I would also express my needs and see if there was a chance for these needs to be met by him and how.I don't think you should feel bad for his wife nor should you to give him any advices about how to run his marriage. His wife and his marriage is HIS problem and he should be the one dealing with it.Just get focused on what is really important for you and let him know. Negotiate with him. If you're still not getting what you want from this relationship and if you feel you're heading nowhere with him, then I think you'd better let go of him.Best wishes!
A
female
reader, Sami +, writes (8 December 2005):
You are being a fool! This guy wants the comforts of the woman that he truly loves in his heart and the excitement of the woman on the side, which you are. Sorry to be so straight-forward but men will get away with anything that they can if you let them. Both you and his wife are being scammed. It's too bad that you can't talk to her directly to find out what he's been telling her.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2005): Please listen to Shania, she has given you the best advice possible, a wise lady indeed. make the right choice, you wont be sorry later.
...............................
A
female
reader, lilqutie +, writes (4 December 2005):
If he wants to work on his relationship to his wife then you as a women need to let him go. Women have a code of ethics that they should live by and that is if he is with some one then no matter how much you love him you need to walk away. What is started on the wrong foot will end on the wrong foot. You do not want to be the women that ends there relationship let them do that on there own
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2005): The roses meant he wants a back-up plan. I'm sure he has the best of intentions - he's just confused. He can't be committed to you right now while he's trying to work on his marriage. Nor should you want him to. He made a promise for a lifetime, and if you "truly love him" you should honor and respect that, supporting him in every way to make it work, because that is what's best for him. (Don't believe me? Look at statistics on heart problems and death rates of men who leave their spouses later in life -- much worse than for men who stay married.)Tell him you want out. Don't tell him you still love him. You don't have to lie to him, but tell him you think he should focus on his marriage. He can't do that if he's still seeing you. You've been a special person in his life, so it's normal that he would miss you and the things you've done together. But that doesn't change the fact that the two of you need to be strong and be grown-ups and stay away from each other.
...............................
A
female
reader, shania  +, writes (4 December 2005):
 This is the classic case of having your cake and eating it.This man that you have been seeing has now decided to make a go of his marriage but wait for it......he still wants to see you.This man is simply using you.If he truly,wanted to be with you,that he was in love with you then what on earth is he still seeing his wife that he has decided to make a go of his marriage? You will just be his bit on the side,and he probably thinks he can buy you off with a bunch of roses!My dear,you are worth much more then that.Any man can buy a bunch of flowers,and it still doesnt have to mean anything.Please leave this dead end relationship,because if you decide to stay,you are going to get hurt,trust me.
...............................
|
