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female
,
anonymous
writes: Dear Cupid,Am married for almost 18th years now. I love my husband but sometimes I can't understand the way he treats me. He doesn't want me to be with my friends or outside family activities. He treated me not as his wife but like a daughter, coz he can easily raise his voice as if I have no brain. This hurts me most. I tried to talk to him several times already but he only told me that I should understand him because this is his character. It's very painful for me. He is considerate to other people but on me as if he just took me for granted. Does he really love me? Or he just makes me feel like this because I have made mistakes regarding financial matters. I have reasons too why it happened to me. He said I don't know how to handle financial matters. Yes, I agree but how can I be good in handling money if he is not a good provider? He will only provide us of what he thinks we need. The exact amount only, excluding the unexpected expenses.I have two kids and rearing two kids need enough money. I tried several moves to talk to him but we'll just come out arguing with each other. He easily gets mad and then he will never talk to me already. I always do the first move to talk to him coz I really dont like hating each other. He always sees my mistakes..and for him it's all mistakes.Please help me. I am almost giving up...What to do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2005): am the wife..whoever gave the advice am so thankful for her/him..i was enlightened..yes i have a work but my husband usually keep track with my money..he always told me that my money is for the whole family..same as his...he is not extravagant but he always keep our money...i am not strong enough to talk to him coz we end up arguing and think to me negatively..thank you very much...i hope we could be friends....
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2005): Your husband doesn't have any respect for you. Maybe you need to stand up for yourself and tell him you have sense, don't treat you like you don't. If he raises his voice to you tell him you are not deaf. Don't scream at me. If he doesn't start treating you with some respect maybe you should think about leaving him. You only get one life, and you want to be happy in it.
You said he give you only money that you need. Do you work? maybe a job even part time would give you some spending money, or money to get away from this man.
If he wants to make it work he can change maybe even counciling, but I don't think he will as long as you are there and living by his rules. I wish you all the luck in the world. I feel sorry you have to live like that.
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