A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Last year it came to my attention, that my husband of four year, was sleeping with other women while we were dating. When we were dating, it was a really big issue that he was hanging out with other girls, but for some reason i trusted him and didn't believe it and stayed with him. But in hines sight, it is a real possibility. When I confronted him on it, he tried to deny it, but the way he did let me know it was true. I don't think he has slept with any one else while we have been married, but the first year of our marriage he had an internet relationship that was completely inappropriate. I feel sick over it, and every one I know wants me to leave him. should I be mad about it, even though he hasn't slept with anyone while we are married? It hurts like i found out he cheated on me yesterday. If I had known I never would have married him. I don't know if I'm going to forgive him for this. Any advice?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2009): If this man wasn't faithful during your courtship, then I highly doubt he has remained faithful throughout your marriage. I know that you *think* he has been faithful, but his history says otherwise. It doesn't sound like he's made any efforts to change. Don't waste these young years with someone, who cannot commit to you. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life doubting your husband's marital commitment? Once you add children to this equation, you'll be in a real mess. Just picture your life ten years from now with this man. You'll still be in the same place - doubting his commitment and hurting. It's harder to find a good guy later in life, so don't waste these years with someone like this.
A
male
reader, vmadman +, writes (6 March 2009):
The sex before your marriage thing is something you'll simply have to let go, but it is an indicator of the type of person he is.
The inappropriate internet relationship could be a big deal, however. I cant really know the details of that so I will leave that up to you. I would burn every electronic in my house if my wife went past "You're a great friend".
If he has been faithful since you married then I would just let it stand, personally, and move on. Just remember that any sexual interaction can, depending upon the context, constitute as unfaithfulness.
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