A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband has become very picky about things in the last few months.Not just picky, but VERY picky, refusing to do ANYTHING until it's perfect. I told him that although his goal of perfection was noble, that it's impossible to get it absolutely right.He is kind, generous and very caring towards everyone but his recent behaviour of being picky is driving me to distraction.Whatever we do, wherever we go, whoever we see - he's always picky about every single thing and it's driving me mad. I've tried to talk to him about it, but he started complaining about me, claiming I'm being too boring. I'm only being realistic.He was even picky about our son's birthday present (our son is 6), that our son missed out on a birthday present and spending time with his father on his 5th birthday because my husband was being picky about what to do and where to go. I told him that he'd have other opportunities to do things with our son, but he insisted that every birthday has to be absolutely perfect - to the exclusion of whether anyone will have a good time or not.I need help, I really don't know where to go next, talking to my husband didn't solve it. Claire Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2008): He doesn't seem to have been stressed recently, still seems very happy and lively.Work's OK, and everything seems good for him.I've tried talking to him about his behaviour, but he's still being picky about everything.I want to work through it with him but how can I if he won't work through it with me??Claire
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2008): Hi Hunny,
Apart from this has there been any stress for your husband leading up to this? This could be O.C.D ill send you a link and you can see if any of the problems relate to your husbands behaviour hunny
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive_compulsive#Symptoms_and_prevalence
I hope this helps hunny TAKE CARE LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (18 February 2008):
 It sounds like he has some kind of dissorder to me. Like you say its not realistic to be that way.
Its a shame that your son missed out on having a good time on his birthday because of his ways. Perhaps he may have an under lying problem that you are unaware of. Like! is work OK for him, or is he ill at all?. I only mention this because when my friends partner lost his job, he was too scared to tell her, and was really horrible to her. When she found out the reason, after a couple of weeks, he told her that he had felt a failure. And his reason for being nasty was because he didnt know how to deal with it.
Just a thought anyway.
XX
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2008): When a person is picky, it's not just a phase usually, it's their personality. If this is the type of personality he has, then perhaps you two just aren't meant to be? It seems his pickiness is dominating his and your life, and if this is really getting at you, then talk to him again, tell him whatever he does is wonderful anyway. And if this doesn't work, then maybe you should reconsider your relationship. You can't work, when you're being constantly upset by his picky behaviour. Good luck :]
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