A
male
age
30-35,
*LoveHer
writes:Hi,I am a 16 year old male and am sexually active... Well should i say i was.Im not going to go into it but i lost my virginity to my ex girlfriend, we broke up, now im with another girl.I have been out with this girl before i know its young to say but she is the one i love s some people would say (my true love). she is perfect for me in everyway i would not change a thing about her.Its just one thing SEX... all i know is she wont have sex with anyone till she is married, it is not for religious views all she said is i just want to be different. oh yea she told me she would only ever loose her virginity to me because i am the "love of her life". I dont know what to do now i have tried to speak to her she just doesent want to know.... I know the "love of our life's" thing may seem fke but i cn assure you i think thi is one of those rare cases where it happens.Please help me on what to do, i really want to have sex with her to build our relationship and i know she will enjoy it. Thankyou in advance for any answers!!!
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broke up, ex girlfriend, lost my virginity, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CupidJenn  +, writes (6 August 2009):
I agree a lot with PsyCookie. Of course, I also agree with giving her no pressure, but all the respect. There are ways both of you can get what you need, as long as you are sure that you are completely "clean" (no STDs). Most urges are about release, not a disrespectful goal. You would be doing yourself a favor, too, if you don't have to answer, one day, that you had loads of lovers. Do searches on virgin alternatives to intercourse. There are some very loving, affectionate ways to express your love that does not cause pregnancy or other problems.Good luck!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2008): "A boy with character.. Boys who DO care---the kind of boy, if you were to date him, would look at you and say, 'I DO love you, and YOU MATTER--and I might be able to walk away from sex with you without any permanent damage, but you might not, and because I love you SO much-- because you matter so much--- I would NEVER ask you to put your life on the line, your ability to have children, your future, your self-respect on the line, to meet my momentary need. I would NEVER PRESSURE, DEMAND, HURT, AND WALK--- I care too much about you for thatAnd then there are "Boys. Who don't. Care. And as long as they don't get hurt in the long run, they will say all the words! 'I love you'...well REAL LOVE respects. LOVE does not PRESSURE, DAMAGE, HURT, TAKE, and WALK. LOVE would NEVER ask you to do something that could damage you for the rest of your life. That is NOT love." ~Pam Stenzel
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): If you love her as much as you say you do and she sais she will only loose here virginity to you, then what is the hurry? If you really love her then you will respect her when she says she is not ready.
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A
female
reader, Linzii +, writes (14 July 2008):
 If you love your girlfriend as much as you say, you would wait however long it takes.Maybe if you give her time she might change her mind but for now listen to what she wants and respect her for what she wants. sex is a big part of a relationship but its not everything so see what happens in time and try and talk to her about how you feel, surely you've got to have your say in the relationship as well.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2008): How long have you two been going out?
If you truly love her like you claim, you would respect her decision to abstain at the moment. You need to understand that for us girls (most of us anyway), our virginity is an extremely PRECIOUS thing. It is something to be valued, not given away to just anybody, and, for many, is DEFINITELY not something to give away, JUST to BUILD on any relationship. She wants to wait til marriage, because most likely she wants to be sure that the person she gives it away to is committed that fully to her. It would be absolutely devastating, let's say, if after much persuasion you were to talk her into having sex, perhaps due to the words "love" and such---and months afterward the relationship ends...
she will have lost something she can never get back again...
So don't pressure her. Respect her wish, and if you can not do with a relationship in which there is no sex, then perhaps you do not love her like you seem to think you do..
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A
female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (13 July 2008):
 What you have to do is respect her wishes. Don't try to make her change just because you're horny since this will only benefit you and you'll leave her in a bad state. Be patient and if you really love her, you'll wait for her. And who knows, maybe she'll change her mind but keep in mind to respect her wishes.
Now, you could also convice her to have other forms of sex. You coud tell her you do oral sex with her or mutual masturbation. Now if she doesn't agree with you and wishes to be completely pure, again respect your wishes. If you say that she's the love of your life, then you will wait for her. This will show her that you truely care for her and are not with her for only sex.
The most important thing here is to respect her and her wishes. Be a good guy and show her you care for her and are not with her for sex. Good luck
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