| A
male
,
*do808
writes: it has been 2 months already. i have known her for one year. she just told me yesteryday, she doesn't trust me because its hard for her to trust people in general. i have been putting 110% and she has giving back 20% in this relationship. she wants to know why i am taking this relationship so seriously. she wants to know why can't it just be fun and games. she said she only needs to trust a few people in this life, and i guess her boyfriend isn't one of them. how should i approach this situation? i feel awful that she is neglecting my feelings. we are both 18. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2006): It is obvious that she isnt in this for a long term relationship she just basically wants to have a bit of fun
A
male
reader, mdo808 +, writes (15 May 2006):
mdo808 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your help.
...............................
A
female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (15 May 2006):
 2 months is not a long time to be dating and it is not unexpected that trust hasn't 100% developed. Remember trust is earned. It doesn't mean she doesn't care about you or like you, it just means that she needs some more time to feel more comfortable and content.
I would also listen to her when she says why can't it be fun and games - perhaps the relationship is getting too serious too soon for her. Perhaps things need to slow down a little and let her catch up?
You are both very young and have only been dating a little while, perhaps she feels that it is a bit serious too soon and that is leading to her trust issues.
I would have a chat to her and perhaps she can suggest a few ways to improve trust and get things going at a speed that you both feel comfortable with to ensure things don't happen to quick.
Good luck
...............................
A
female
reader, cfliberal +, writes (15 May 2006):
She is telling you she doesn't want to get serious with you. I'd advise you to listen to what she is saying. If the two of you stay together and she changes her feelings, she'll let you know. But you can't change her. I have seen this in real life but usually with the woman thinking she can change the guy and make the relationship more serious than he wants it to be. The result is usually heartache for the person who wants change and resentment from the person who was upfront about his/her attitude.
...............................
A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (15 May 2006):
 She probably really, really likes you and she is just scared about trusting you in case you hurt her...the way other people may have done in the past. Basically you have to be very patient and show her consistent love and support, but also remember that dating is supposed to be fun at the end of the da so try to make time to have a laugh with each other as much as doing deep conversations.
...............................
|
