A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend is constantly talking to her ex. I mean all the time. We had an argument about it and it seems she would let it get to the point where we break up rather than stop talking to him. She is going somewhere with him and his mates soon and I don't know what to do. Am I in the wrong for feeling like this? We've been going out for nearly 3 years
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female
reader, Minelisse  +, writes (13 June 2008):
 I REALLY don't think this is a good sign! Although when a relationship is over we have the possibility of continuing a friendship with that person (and I have with most of my exs), the truth is the past is bound to come into our conversations.
About a week ago I said hi to an ex in MSN, he asked me out to lunch and it seemed innocent enough but I was unable to attend at that moment. We met again on the MSN and he ended up talking about our relationship and the fun we used to have and that he still liked me. Well.. I am married now so I definitely don't want any "past" in my present, so I've decided not to meet him.
If your GF and him are friends only thats nice, BUT, the truth is that whenever you and her have an argument, if she goes back to him to cry on his shoulder, she is creating a bond with him that is pretty strong and that he can use whenever he likes. You know what they say... where there was fire, ashes remain!! Eventually she will start comparing you to him and the situation might end up pretty badly. Also, that part of she almost breaking it up with you because of him, as in, she chose him over you... not good!
You really need to see where your relationship with her stands, try to talk to her calmly and try to make her open up as to what she feels for him. Be prepared for anything, including letting go if necessary.
Best of luck!
A
male
reader, jay12toes  +, writes (13 June 2008):
 youv been going out for three years, ok so did she just start hanging out with him all the time or has this been going on for the whole three years. because if it just started then thats something to worry about but if they have always hung out like that then its probably ok. now you cant tell her that she cant hang out with him, but you can tell her how it makes you feel and that you would like her to hang out with him a little less. just remember people are like soap, the tighter you hold them the more likely it is that they will slip away.
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