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female
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anonymous
writes: hey im now going out with a girl so i asked her if she was gay or bi and she said no whats all this about? so i kept asking her but she said she duno maybe she is kinda whats that mean?is she scared to admit it and why?how do i know if she likes me im so confussed she said im the only one she likes im confussed please help Reply to this Question
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male
reader, lboy  +, writes (21 November 2006):
 hi reader,
well i think that if this girl is going out with you then she must know deep down what she is, but is not ready to admit it publicaly, just think of the way you might of felt in her situation, give her some space and get to know her more, once she knows she can trust you enough she will tell you, but don't keep badgering her or you may push her away.
good luck
lboy
xxx
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2006): some people dont feel the need to categorize their sexuality into tightly defined groupings that are based upon the queer subcultures need to define itself clearly in a backlash to the overdefinition of "strait" culture by strait culture. what i mean is some people are free in their mind and dont need to define themselves, if you want to ruin a perfectly good relationship just because your girl doesnt fit your categories then you two probably arent suited but if on the other hand you are willing to let her be herself and not throw your insecurities onto her then this will probably work well.
remember a relationship is a two way partnership!
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2006): If you are going out with her, and she says that she likes you, then she probably does likes you. If she didn't like you, she wouldn't be in a relationship, nor say she likes you. Unless she is in denial - and is lying to you.
But why would she lie to you? That's why you need to have the capacity for trust in a relationship. You do have to take people at their word - and judge them on how they treat you; not on whether or not they answer your questions in the right way.
Are you two young? Perhaps she is confused about her sexuality. That is not unreasonable to expect, is it? A lot of people go through a hard time finding out who they are. If you are gay, or bi, and are completely sure about your sexuality, at a young age, then you are lucky.
If she can not give you an answer, it probably means she does not know herself. You can either give her space on the subject, ie: don't ask her again, so that she can work it out for herself, or, you can find someone who is more sure of who they are, and what they want.
I suspect, perhaps, you need someone a little more sure of who they are, because you are likely to find that partners who are more insecure than you are will bring out negative and painful feelings in you. They will end up feeling they are not good enough, and you will always feel like they never commit enough love and attention for you.
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