A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I have a group of friends (all girls) and we always hang out together. I have no other friends. My friends talk non-stop and I hardly ever get to even open my mouth.I never thought much about it, but recently I invited them all to dinner, and my husband made this observation. He said 'how long you had to try to get one sentence heard!'. And after that I realized that he was right. Sometimes, I spend the whole lunchtime trying to get one word or sentence out, and sometimes i give up and just listen because its' too much effort. I don't know what to do. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your responses, Uncle Phil and TalkingHelps.TalkingHelps, we do love each other, and have fun with each other, but I am sure you will agree that we can sometimes have isues with people we love. Well, so more with people we love, actually :)Uncle Phil, I think you are right. I am not sure about the not assertive part, because I feel I am quite assertive, at least on my job, and won't be pushed around etc. But I do have a problem interrupting people when they are talking, and yes, I think of it as really bad manners. I feel, to interrupt someone while they are speaking is like saying 'what I have to say is more important than what you are talking about'. I am sad that I do not see the good manners reciprocated.I think I'll try what you suggest, the thing is, I am not a habitual 'louder than usual voice' person :) So I'll really have to work on this one!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2008): If you have fun with your friends
and they love you and you love them
and have fun with eachother
then what is the issue?!
XxXx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2008): I had to smile to myself about this! It kind of reinforces the point I made in one of my replies yesterday - see http://www.dearcupid.org/question/men-are-you-put-off-when-a-girl.html and you'll see what I mean!
I think you probably lack assertiveness and are too well-mannered to speak when someone else is speaking. A well-mannered conversation is when one person speaks and everyone else listens.
Someone butting in and interrupting whilst I'm speaking is the height of bad manners as far as I'm concerned and is one of my pet hates. I usually shut them up by saying in a louder than normal voice "Be quiet! I'm speaking!" You could in the same sort of voice say "Is there any chance I can get a word in edgeways??"
They might think this is rude but when they think about it they'll realise they are the ones being rude and displaying an appalling lack of good manners by effectively excluding you from their private little conversations.
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