A
male
age
41-50,
*r8117
writes:My friend has asked for some advice about his girlfriend. They are in a serious relationship. He cares for her deeply and is considering proposing. He is building his first home and living with his parents. He is 30 and she is 22. The problem: when it comes time for her to leave his house during the work week, she begs and pleads for him not to make her leave and go home alone. she whines untill he gives in and snuggles with her till 3 or 4 in the morning and then she leaves. It makes him tired in the morning but he is also concerned about "acting married" when they are not. He feels that shoving her off makes him look uncaring but he is really annoyed at the situation. The have been dating for over a year. They are not totall sexually active. He wants to wait till marriage. She has been in the past and is trying to honour his wishes on that part.What do i tell him. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, pepper27  +, writes (9 June 2008):
 Hi Hunny
You tell him that he needs to sit and talk with his g/f and explain that he cares about her a great deal but during the times that he has to be up for work early that she must understand that he is not being uncaring when he asks for her to leave at a Appropriate hour so he can get his sleep...Anybody would surely understand this, There sounds to be a bigger problem here hunny..Why does she wine and complain and want to lie with him untill 3 4 in the morning then be quite happy to go home then, She is old enough to understand his situation and I would have thought grown up enough to realise that he has to be up early and not cause this kind of problem for him..They are not as yet living together she knows this, There has been no talking of living together as of yet from what you have said..And to expect someone to stay awake untill 4 in the morning just to keep you happy is not thinking about that person or that persons resposabilitys or even thinking in a grown up way about the whole situation. Your friend needs to be able to comunicate with his g/f its not really hard to understand that he works so therefore he needs to sleep..This can all be said in a kind and caring way, And then if this still continues and she still doesnt get it he is going to have to tell her straight as no one can be expected to stay awake night after night and work and function properly and anyone should realise that...Hunny just tell him to sit down and talk with her, If things are like this now then they should be talked about and both partners should be there for one another before going into marriage I hope your friend can work things out TAKE CARE WITH LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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