A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a problem and I just cannot seem to find the way forward.Here's the thing, I fell in love with a good friend of mine about 3 years ago. Things were just fine with the usual ups and downs of a what was mostly a long distance relationship.Few months ago, he lost his job,and has withdrawn into a shell. I have tried every way to communicate with him. But he just is not interested. I am very worried about him. Part of me feels he wants to be left alone. What should I do? Leave him alone or keep trying. Please advise.Thanks,Em
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female
reader, imInLoveWithT  +, writes (20 February 2011):
just tell him you love him and want to start a new life you will never forgive your self if you never ask him...KEEP TRYING!
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (20 February 2011):
 you sure are a good friend.
he may need professional expert support. You can demonstrate empathy, listen to him. But if his issues are more serious it will wear you out emotionally and possibly delay him getting the expert medical attention he needs.
He's lost his job, withdrawn into himself, and wants to be alone. And the odds are that he also can't communicate as well as he used to, and it's likely he's lost his motivation to go forward.
A man's worth is often intrinsically bound up in the work he does and the money he earns. To lose his job is a devastating blow. So now he's feeling lost and depressed.
Depression is a serious illness. And needs treatment as soon as possible.
Enter the three words -
'depression treatment causes'
into google and download some free material to better understand what could help
And do try to get him to see his Doctor and ask that his Doctor send him off for immediate urgent treatment.
If he had a broken leg you would not hesitate to get him medical attention.
Depression is just as serious, if not more so. Just because you cannot see a broken bone does not mean all is well within him. He is demonstrating his distress by his behavior.
You can still give him oodles of good emotional support, but just make sure you encourage him to get the medical attention he needs. If he refuses try to think of another friend or relative or someone he respects/trusts who might be able to convince him to get treatment
I do hope all goes well
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A
female
reader, Party rings  +, writes (20 February 2011):
I think you need to give him space for a bit until he comes out and starts to talk again. If he still isnt coming out of his shell in a week then maybe just let him rest until he finds the courage to talk to you about it.
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