A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a circle of friends from university - there are 4 of us and we are best friends. We would hang out together practically every day. One of my friends has recently professed his love to me. The reason behind him writing me this long love letter was because I was going on about a guy I fancied and he was getting a bit angry and upset....hence he wrote the letter. I was very polite in my response but obviously the feelings werent mutual (which I said as nicely as I could)But now I feel so uncomfortable around him. As stupid as it sounds I feel I can not even look him in the eyes and I feel so ill at ease around him. I also feel like I can not be myself as I am cautious if I talk about other guys it could hurt his feelings etc. But I am single and of course I would notice or fancy guys..... I wish he never told me and our friendships were the same as before as somehow things feel like they have changed. I want to carry on hanging out with my friends like before but feels there is this awkardness with him being there! Sometimes also he has little "sulks" around me if I do not pay him enough attention (which I can hardly want to speak to him now if I am honest) and if I speak about other guys he gets irritable....I have even seen him with tears in his eyes and I dont know what to do! I do not want to hurt him at all and I am not insensitive at all but it is Like I cant be myself anymore. We are all in the same class at uni so its not like I can give things a "rest" for a while. Not sure how to handle this situation....and no I really dont want to have another "talk" with him as I was pretty clear that something wont develop between us and we are just friends.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2010): You need to be blunt and to the point, and do NOT say anything that he will interpret as 'hope' that you'll come around.
It's hard- I have a girl in my life that I really fancied, we never we able to work things out (we were almost never single at the same time), and there was some awkward times between us. Trust me, help him heal by being blunt. it's the only way he's going to get it.
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