A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok, there's been some things eating at me recently, I am 20 years old, engaged with a baby, my fiancé is 25.She won't tell me how Many people she's been with becuase it'd make her feel like a "slut" she told me it was over 15, but was married for 5 years, so either she had slept with 14 or more people or she was highely infidel.... It eats at me constantly, it depresses me to think of her that way, becuase I truely do love her, but....please help me...please.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2010): Hey pal!
I feel for you. Perhaps a little retrograde jealousy with previous partners. A few threads on here about that Id recommend you read some. They may help too. I, myself, would compare myself to the other guys and wonder "what does she think of me compared to them?"...its an ego thing bro. Assuming your wife has had a number of other guys, maybe look at it like this: She's with you and only you now and as long as she has been clear she's committed, Id feel a lot better knowing that all her focus is on me and not the other guys. I once resented a GF because she slept with a man while she was drunk and he left the condom inside her and she didnt find it for three days. To me, this was rape and I sent him death threats and I was also jealous because Id known her for 8 months, and he'd known her for two days and I had yet to sleep with her!!! I couldnt get over that, even thru counseling, because in the end, she didnt treat me special. I felt like any other guy and she didnt regret the experience (or the nine other randoms) and to me that was a sign she was a whore. Your fiancee doesnt necessarily need to regret, she just needs to reassure you shes with you now and wants to only be with you. This will help focus on the future and help u see the big picture with her and get over the past. Another way to think of it is that her past led her to you and not to any of those other douches lol. Youre the man, the guy she wants!!! Good luck :)
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (28 September 2010):
 She shouldn't tell you how many. All that will do is make both of you feel worse.
I suggest you read this article:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/retrograde-jealousy.html
As for it depressing you to think of her that way: you have to learn to not think of her in that way! Learning more information is not going to help you do that. What will help you doing that is letting go of the past, and letting go of your need to think about this.
The article should help with this.
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