A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: It feels like my fiance wants to change me to fit his life. It wasn't like this before, in fact he used to embrace our differences. Now it's like he wants to keep putting down my quirks until I change. In my line of work I see a lot of things and it's not really for the weak of heart. Sometimes I just want to talk about it but he gets upset and cuts me off because he doesn't like hearing about it. Ironically he has no problem complaining about his days at work in painful detail. It's gotten to the point where I feel resentment. I'm a pretty outgoing strong independent person. I strive to be those things for myself. I brought my walls down to him and have made myself vulnerable and he just recently complained that he misses the "old" me. What is so wrong with being vulnerable with the one you love? He also hates horror movies. Unfortunately that are my favorite kind of movie genre and I haven't watched any with him since the beginning of our relationship. Today has been a breaking point for me. I try to be a patient person but it was the last string so to speak. We were driving and drinking McDonald's frappe (yum!) and he brought up something about people with dread locks. I mentioned I had a friend with those in high school so he said "Oh he must have stank". I was starting to explain that no he didn't stink but he cut me off exasperated that I was making him sick to his stomach because I was talking about it while he was drinking his frappe. I just feel at a loss. Everything was going great until the past six months. There are good days then there are bad days. I really don't know what I do wrong. What should I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (16 September 2010):
I think some of the arguments you two have been having, such as the dreadlock thing, are silly arguments that couples sometimes have. But if he's suggesting that you need to change to accommodate him, then walk away. You don't have to change. That's the whole point of a relationship.
Are you sure this man is the one you want to marry?
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