A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:First, I need to give some background information. I am 25 years old, in grad school, and living at home with my parents to keep my expenses down until I graduate this year. My mother is a flight attendant and she flies three day trips once or twice a week. I have frequently caught my Dad masterbating. He is usually in the den (a common area in the house) with the door wide open. I usually come home from class and work at the same times every day so everyone knows my schedule. This only happens when my mom is on a trip. I would figure that he would show some sort of discretion after being caught the first couple of times. Now I'm starting to think he is doing this intentially. Am I just freaking out? Or, does he just get so carried away that he forgets when I'm coming home? This is starting to cause a problem in our relationship. Should I bring it up to him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2008): i had similar experiences. but what i hated the most was he would do it while watching me wash dishs or watering the lawn. i believe some men are really pigs and do not know where to draw the line between decency and indecency. this has affected how i see most men, and to this day, i still cant have a steady relationship with a man. i just can't seem to trust them. when mother left to visit her ailing sister in southeast asian, he asked me to share a hotel room with him. he was drunk at home as usual after dinner, and he didn't dare ask me to my face, so he telephoned my bedroom to talk. i silently cried while he kept trying to convince me it was ok. finally, i pushed gently down on the hang up bar with the old phones so he wouldn't even know i had hung up on him. the next day at the breakfast table he acted like nothing happened. then when mother returned home, he was tense at first, then he acted with gratitude towards me that i did not tell mom. i have had a nervous breakdown in my 20's, 30's, and i am about to have one again into my 40's. i am constantly ill, sick becuase of all the hate and anger and confusion pent up. don't stick around men like these. i did not leave because we run a small family business together and he controlls all the money. i used to have big dreams, ambitions, now i am just a broken human being. he has talked me out of every good opportunity to marry a good man. he wants me to live with him and take care of him in old age. don't stick around men like him, they are pigs and they will destroy your spirit
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2008): Very strange behaviour, but no matter. Your father is behaving like a little boy with a new toy and you must treat him as such.
When you come in make a loud noise, and if you catch him at it again, don't run off and don't be polite.. just shout out at the top of your voice... DAD GO UPSTAIRS TO YOUR BEDROOM, IT'S UNPLEASANT TO FIND YOU DOING THAT DOWNSTAIRS... Then continue your business as if you hadn't seen anything at all...
This should stop the whole thing, and bring it out into the open. If he dose it again, speak to your mum, maybe he has mental problems you know nothing about.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2008): Yes, I think you should definitely bring it up and talk to him about it. I guess he and your mother have a pretty active sex life, so when she's gone, he realizes it will be a while before he has sex again, so that makes him want to masturbate. I think he should definitely do it in a more private setting, like in the master bedroom or master bathroom. As sick as it sounds, he may also be doing it deliberately, as way to get some kind of sexual gratification from seeing a woman when he ejaculates.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2008): you should definitely riase the subject with him and tell him that while there is nothing wrong with what he is doing can he please confine it to behind closed doors as you are uncomfortable with it, if you say nothing it is almost like you are ok with it and will only fuel his habit. this is very embarrassing for you and wont be easy but go for it i would good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2008): Just let him be, if you know that he masterbates at a certian time and area, then don't be there at that time, and like all guys, when we are horny, we do evrything possible to get us even more horny, so just calm down.
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