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male
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*uantum_Tantrum
writes: I have been friends with a girl on and off for years. We would both like to take the relationship further. The problem is that she has a child from a previous relationship, who just happens to be of a different race/skin color. This doesn't bother me in the slightest. In fact, I am rather excited about it. But unfortunately I live in South Africa, which is still very color-conscious. I know my family and friends will have a difficult time accepting my new girlfriend and her child. My question is : In a situation like this, do I go with my heart, or do I play it safe and try to uphold the status quo? It's a double edged sword. On one hand, being part of a great relationship, while on the other, being ostracised by my family and friends. Any advice will be apreciated. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (15 September 2005):
 Follow your heart. Don't let chances of a lifetime with someone you care about go to waste, you may not get another. We have to cherish them as we don't know how many amazing people will come into our lives, it may only be one or two.
You family will come to terms with it in the end, even if it takes a while. And if they don't, they're not worth it anyway. If my family didn't accept my partner or my child, I wouldn't want anything to do with them, never mind the other way round.
I understand you love and respect your family but you will resent them forever if you let this chance go to waste. Good luck, hope you make the right decision. Follow your heart :)
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