A
female
age
41-50,
*orceedea
writes:Hey everyone,I have a question about something and am concerned about my ex bf's current relationship. 4 yrs ago I broke up with him before he got deported to Korea because I had gotten hurt by him so bad. However, when he arrived at Korea, we somehow got back in contact and was thinking about getting back together. I still loved him then so it was hard for me to accept that I had lost him. Anyway, we never did get back together because he then told me he had a new gf over at Korea. His gf at the time always contacted me tormenting me with every single detail about their relationship and asking me questions about the relationship I had with him. It was all of this torment and pain I had endured that made me decide to remove him from my heart. Now, he is back in the states but has another gf. The gf he had in korea he's no longer in a relationship with cause she was married with somebody else and i think they had way too many problems. My problem is this, it's been 4 yrs since I last had encountered such torment and pain from speaking to his past gf and finding out things he was doing, saying, and even lies about him and his feelings. Now his current gf is constantly contacting me for the same reason. Wanting to know about my relationship with him etc. She say's the same thing as the gf he had in Korea. She is having problems with him and wants to know if he loves her and is taking her seriously and that the only one that can know that is me. Same thing as the other girl, she needs to know from my experience if he's a real person, good, etc. What i don't understand is why they seek me out and ask me questions constantly about my past pain and relationship with him? Why? I spoke to her calmly and with no care but after speaking to her, all those terrible memories came back. Now i regret it. Why do his gf's look for me to ask me questions about my past? Only to dig me into the same hole i was once in? When he was in Korea i had a battle between his word and his gf's words. Now I am going through somewhat the same thing. I don't love him anymore but the fact that all the past memories are being brought back is very depressing. Any advice and clarifications? It would be helpful and appreciated. Thanks a million!
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female
reader, petina1  +, writes (11 October 2010):
 It could be him that is goading them into tormenting you. After all, how could they get your details unless he gave them to you. How do you know the gf he had in Korea isn't the same one as he has now. You seriously need to delete him, and them from your life. Change your numbers, your screen names and any contact he has for you. This will not do you any good at all. If they get in touch again wanting details of him, tell them to ask him and tell them to get lost your not interested. Good Luck!
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