A
male
age
36-40,
*olidus
writes:I stopped talking to my ex girlfriend/first love because of her drinking, drug abuse, and promiscuity was upsetting. I didn't speak to her four about a month then monday she Instant Messaged me and was all "I know we "Aren't talking, but I just wanted to say hi" I replied and we spoke for a little while. 10 mins later she called me so I answered and she asked how my mother was and kept bringing up places and things we did together. She expressed that she wants me to call her sometimes. I told her I would during one of my days off the last of which is today and I haven't yet. Should I call her and say hi or is this some sort of game?
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (30 July 2008):
I've just read your update so I'll base my advice on that.
If you are tough enough not to care that she's messing up her life then yes, talk to her online or on the phone, but DON'T let her weasel her way back into your life any further.
Tell her you still meant what you said about not wanting to be friends or anything more until she comes off the drugs and stops drinking.
Talk to her yes, but be very careful and if she crosses the line, eg, asks you to lend her cash, then hang up and block her.
Good Luck!! xx
A
male
reader, Solidus +, writes (30 July 2008):
Solidus is verified as being by the original poster of the question I'm pretty sure she's still doing the same things she's always done. (drinking, smoking weed, etc) I mean she regularly hangs out/dates a dude who does cocaine. She tells me he annoys her or whatever. I guess she just misses talking to me or something. If that's the case I guess I could give her a friendly phone call. "even though we "are not talking" u should still call me sometime"I've pretty much given up on any sort of romantic reconciliation though. Most of my friends say that I should just not speak to her period and that I shouldn't call her back even if I said I would. So should I call as she requests and say hi or continue not speaking to her as I have done for the last month? Since not being in contact with her i've felt much better. I've just stopped caring about the bad things that she does. I did like talking to her though.
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A
female
reader, Curiousbynature +, writes (30 July 2008):
Make sure she still isn't drinking and using before you let yourself back into it. I am sure it was hard to get out once, so it would be hard to get out twice. Just do a little investigating before you bring all that back into your life. Maybe she has cleaned up her act though, I guess if you love her give her the benefit of the doubt.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2008): Only she knows if it's a game, but personally I'd find out if she still has issues that you find intolerable before going any further with this.
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