A
female
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anonymous
writes:I'm really confused at the moment. My ex bf and I broke up about 8 months ago becuz he was moving back 2 his home state since he wasn't happy at our college. If it hadn't been for that, I know we would have stayed together for a while. Now he's going to be attending a really good school just a state away. I'd really like to hook back up with him. It would still be long distance but I think it would be worth it. We still keep in touch via e-mails. But I don't know if I should tell him how I feel or not? I'm afraid he'll reject the idea. Should I just wait to see if he mentions anything first?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2006): No, don't mention anything to him, dear. Or you will set yourself up for more profound disappointment. Let's think about this. Eight months ago, he was attending a college close by to where you were. He then made a decision he was no longer happy (??) at this college, thought nothing of breaking up with you and moving on. This guy's behaviour is telling me if he's willing to leave you and a college he simply wasn't 'happy' with...I suppose I am beginning to doubt if he was all that committed to you, in the first place. Hate to say this but if I were in your shoes, I would've found that rather demoralizing and I would've felt rather insignificant. Hun, when a guy loves a woman, absolutely nothing will take him away from her. So, you need to discriminate if he really, truely is the guy you want. If you want him back, make him work hard to have you back. If he hasn't made any suggestions to getting back with you, just drop the notion of hooking up, again. If he dumped you in the first place, the mere suggestion of asking him to hook up again, shows that all you'll bring to a relationship is neediness and a desire for attachment, and the balance is all off. He's in college, building his future. Take your focus off him and follow his example, if your aren't already. Building your own life shows yourself and this guy and other availbale, good quality men out there, that you have purpose-you have goals. Show your tenacity and you will impress yourself and then who knows, other opportunities for a equal, healthy true love will open up for you, which is good because you likely won't need him, anymore. Good luck!
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