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*onfused320
writes: I've recently broke up with my ex-girlfriend of three years. But she's still always around being we have the same mutual friends. We're trying to stay friends, but it's hard considering the situation. How can I avoid the awkwardness without avoiding her or them?
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reader, NordicBeauty +, writes (7 July 2005):
Two phrases stand out in your story
1) RECENTLY broken up
2) together for 3 years
3 years is sufficient time to create a deep bond between 2 people, and because your breakup is recent, everytime you see her in public, your heartstrings are pulled.
It does not matter whether she is with mutual friends, or if you see her alone in a shopping mall or in a grocery store, you will struggle with emotion until Time heals your wounds.
I would suggest phoning friends ahead of time & inquire if your ex is going to be at the location you're headed for.
If you find out she is going to be there...go somewhere else...always have Plan B
Explain to your friends, that it's difficult being around your ex for awhile until you feel more Solid.
Your friends should understand & agree to go elsewhere.
After a few months, you will see her somewhere unexpectedly and discover your heart strings tug less.
After several months, you will notice a considerable improvement in your self-control & emotions.
Then...and only Then...you may be able to establish a friendship with her....trying to be friends after a fresh breakup, is setting yourself up for emotional turmoil.
When you start dating other females, it will help heal the wounds even faster...but try not to get involved again too quickly, or you'll get caught in the "rebound" trap.
All the best,
A
reader, tp +, writes (7 July 2005):
hi I think the best thing for you both to do is to try and see your friends at different times until you can both feel OK with it. Hang with each other without the awkwardness. Try it out for a few weeks to see how things work out.
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reader, becky05 +, writes (7 July 2005):
try to meet up with your friends at different times. Spend more time with your other friends than her.
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A
reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (7 July 2005):
 Hi there, Ive recently gone through the same thing. It was a living hell for the first month on my part but I hung in there. I told myself if she could be around me and the mates and still be comfortable with it, why can't I? If she was strong enough to go through with it, why can't I? I started out treating it as a mind game, but eventually as time went by, I got used to it and I really wasnt that bothered with hanging out with her and the same group of mates. Hope this helps. Just be really strong for the first 5 to 8 times that you guys go out together as friends and try to act tough, and im sure u'll eventually get used to it. Trust me, this works!!
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