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female
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anonymous
writes: When should I call him back? out of blue, my ex-bf called me this afternoon and left a message after 3-month non-communication. Basically he just wanted to check up with me,but I did not have anything exciting and new to update my life except I have a new bf now. The reason I feel I am not ready to return his call is I still have strong feelings for him, and yes, he is still the only one i have loved, and love more than anyone in my life. But we don't match, he never pay serious attention to me. But I know I am his unforgotten girlfriend because I have done every nice things a girlfriend had done to her beloved bf and he said he would miss me deadly when we graduated and broke up. The mistake I made is being into this relationship and taking this too seriously too early in our relationship. He is a big party fan and party across the world during his MBA study period. and he sounds like so many girls around him throughout our dating. If he doesn't call for a day I think he will never call (he always does), and if hechanges plans (usually with a good reason) Ithink he is pulling away. Then I will go out with other guys asked me out and in this way to forget and forgive him.We both cheated on each other, but I am the one who felt horribly regretful since I know deep down I love him and only him! That is the only big mistake I made in our relationship. But the pains and cheating he gave me even he did not admit but someone else told me totally ruined my trust. I love him without trust, I do not know why, after so many guys, he is still the one I dream about everyday, and think of him frequently in tears-Should I call him or shall I wait longer time when I am ready and totally get over him? If I call him now, is there any possiblity that we can come back to each other? If I do not call now but wait a longer time maybe 4 months later, will I miss him forever? We are in the different cities but I am going to move to his city after finding a new job there, should I wait until then or I just call him back now to say hello and see what happens?He totally mess up my world, and made my life miserable. I am actually afraid to call him back because I am not ready to get hurt again if he does not change anything. I will feel hurt if he has a new gf now even though I am with a new one. I tried to love my current bf but deep inside, he is the only one I could love with all of my heart and soul.
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female
reader, marieclaire  +, writes (15 October 2006):
 well to be honest you might be afraid of him not having changed but it seems like you were the one who needed to change. if you're still as needy and clingy, don't call- you probably will get hurt again. on the other hand getting hurt won't kill you and if you love him as much as you say you do then taking the risk might be worth it
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