A
female
age
36-40,
*oveNbasketball
writes:Parent Trouble.Hey guys,I'm nineteen, first year University and still feeling the strain of my parents - mostly my dad. He lives in another country (divorced parents) and my grades seems like the only thing that is his main concern. If I fail a class, I'm a failure. If I get a 3.5 GPA average, he'll ask where the other .5 went. Everything I do is never good enough for him. How do I explain to him that there are more important things out there than just smarts? Help. Please. I shouldn't be worrying about how he says I'm not good enough every 2-3 phone calls.Thanks,loveNbasketball
View related questions:
university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, i do anything to help  +, writes (11 August 2007):
 I agree ure dad shudn't be preasuring u about his. U must be a smart girl as u got into uni in the first place. I guess ure dad just wants the best 4 u but he is taking this 2 far. Think 2 ureself as long as u tried ure hardest and u studied rele well thats all u can do which means u shud be proud of ureself. Try not 2 let ure dad get 2 u. It must be hard but he dosnt even live in the same country. Tlk 2 him on the phone and explain 2 him that u did do ure best if he still isnt budging and having a go at u its not worth bothering with. U r so young so u shudn't be worryin 2 much. 19 is a gd age 2 have lots of fun and get ureself out there. I understand it must be hard 2 think ure dad thinks ure a failure but the main thing is as long as u dont think ure a failure thats all that counts. Wen he rings agen just try change the subject and get him talkin bout somehink else but if he is determind 2 tlk about ure grades just try not 2 lt it get 2 u. Gd luck xxxxxxxxxx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2007): He doesn't want you to fail anything 'like he did' a.k.a he feels he failed in his marriage and doesn't want to see his daughter making mistakes too. It's not a reflection on you per se; if you can just say to him what you've said in your post, really try to get your message through and if he still won't listen, I'd say it's definitely down to his own fear and shame. Don't let it make you feel like you are in fact failing; you're doing fine and you can see that grades aren't the start and end all of everything, which is important. Would he rather you obsessed over your grades to the point where you made yourself ill from over-studying and ended up taking your life because you can't handle the stress? No. Good luck dear.
...............................
|
