A
female
age
30-35,
*89456
writes:my boyfriend and i have been together for 9 months now. i was happy with him until his baby's mother or his ex started bothering us, especially me. she is like a crazy stalker. she calls my cell phone and left 15 missed calls. she called my parents phone and talked to my mother! who knows what she told my mom because now my mom doesnt want me to be with my boyfriend, and she keeps sending my boyfriend emails...eventhough he ignore and spammed her.i told my boyfriend to tell her that we are together now and to please leave us alone, but he does not want to tell her anything. he still talks to her on the phone supposedly because of their kid..he said that if he gets her mad she wont let him see his baby..and he told me that i will always come second..i dont know..he tells me he that he loves me every time we talk and he has plans of marrying me but i dont know..he said things will be different once were married. Whenever I try and talk to him about these things, he always ends up making me feel like the one in the wrong and possessive. all i tell him is to please let his ex know that he's with someone else already, but he says he will not do anything. i dont know how to handle this situation. we always end up fighting.i considered leaving him, but i cant do it.. he tells me he will make it work. I have a lot on my mind. this is making me so unhappy. this is affecting me so much. i cant focus cuz i get so distracted. sometimes i cant sleep.please tell me what you would do if you were in my position.. your advice would be really helpful. - thank you.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2009): I agree with Ask Older Sister, he is the one who has to sort this out. But you asked what I would do if I were in your situation? Well, I have sort of been in your situation with my ex and his child's mother, she is also very mean and a little crazy acting at times. He does have legal custody rights, pays a set child support each month and even though she has to let him see his child legally, she still trys to control the shots and if she gets angry which is often, she won't let him see her, she loves to ruin holidays for him, which ruined holidays for me as well. This is not the reason he is my ex, but I can tell you from experience that this situation will probably never improve much....and you will always come second.
Being that you are so young and under 21, and with the prevelance of single men in your age group who did not make the immature mistake of getting a girl pregnant outside of marriage, I would leave this situation and find a more suitable partner without a child. That is what I would do. You have choices, you don't have to live a life of drama if you don't want too. Remember, every woman gets the love life she deserves. (Meaning if she chooses unwisely, well there you go...)
Take care. And you can leave him if you want to, no excuses.
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