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female
,
anonymous
writes: I'm 16 years old I've had a long term relationship with the same boy since I was 14. Me and him had a lot of fights and we have had a lot of mistakes in the past.We broke up for 4 months and got back together. Ever since we've been back together I thought things would be soooo great, but everything seems wrong now. Nothing is like it use to be. Me and him have so many different outlooks on things. I try to talk to him about everything that bothers me and I try to see how he feels about certain things and he doesnt seem to wanna listen and he doesnt seem to care anymore. He tells me he loves me and he tells me he does care, but I never feel like he cares enough about us. It seems like I'm last in everything he does or wants to do. He puts me off for other things and it's just a shame cause I always make sure he comes first in everything. I'm just so tired of fighting him and trying to talk to him because he doesn't seem to understand anything. He makes my life so confusing because I never know what to think or what to do. I'm stressed out and pretty down becauseIi want me and him to work so bad but nothing seems to be working. We've been through a lot and I've always been there for him. I just wish for once he'd be there for me. Please give me advice on what to do. I've tried everything I can possiably think of and now I'm about ready to do the one thing that I hate to do and that is to give up. Please help me and tell me what you think I should do! Thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2005): im in the same boat and it sucks
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2005): Tell him exactly what you told us. If that doesnt work. Dump him. You sound like a very nice girl, and you defintly deserve more. There are lots of fish in the sea, dont forget that ;).
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2005): hi
i was in a serious relationship when i was 16, infact we were engaged. everyone thought we were wrong for eachother, but i thought we were perfect. until i went to college. it was obvious we had completly different outlooks on life and where we wanted to be in 10 years time. i was fed up with his moaning about me staying in to study and couldnt understand if i wanted to let my hair down with my friends, even though i never once cheated on him. It's been years since then, and hes still in the same family house in the same area doing the same thing, which would have drove me crazy if i was still with him. I feel like ive spread my wings and lived a life i wouldnt have been able to if we were still together.
Love is such an easy word to say. sometimes i used to say it to him without realising id said it, it was almost second nature, which isn't right. From the message you sounded down and fed up. im not going to use your only young, because i hated people saying that to me.
Try and sit him down and have a really good chat about how you feel, take a couple of hours, just you and him somewhere on equal ground, like a park or beach somewhere. if he loves you, he'l listen and try his best to change, if he dosn't or he goes back to being the same person, then it's probably best to leave. you seem the type of person who wants to be appreciated and loved, and sometimes words arn't enough. Be your own person and hopefully hel love you for it, and show you through other means rather than just saying it.
i used to think that no other man would fancy me and that my ex would be the only man for me. i was wrong, im not saying you are, but if you feel unhappy dont stay because your affraid of noone else liking you.
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A
female
reader, pandora +, writes (19 November 2005):
Dear Anonymous,
It is always more important to pay attention to the way you feel about how you are treated in the relationship than to wish for things to be better.
If he tells you he loves you, but you do not feel loved (and you clearly do not) then you must know that things will not get better in that situation.
You have your life ahead of you and I am sure you are a wonderful person. Please do not waste your precious time, energy and love on someone who makes you feel BAD!!!
No good will come of it for you.
If "giving up" means breaking-up, then I say go for it.
Don't be last in his life.
Be number ONE in your life without him!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2005): Dump him, dump him............DUMP HIM.....YOU ARE YOUNG AND DESERVE SO MUCH MORE, then a crummy boyfriend
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