A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok. So, the other night me and my boyfriend were chatting on msn like usually and he suddenly said I'm fat!I firstly didn't know how to react but then I got really upset and like sad.He said it was a mistake, something he misspelled but I know it wasn't because it was too clear, but he probably thought I wouldnt mind.I felt really really bad when he said that because he already knew I had some eating disorders (bulimia) a few years ago and so I'm very sensitive to that kind of stuff.I know he loves me but I feel really hurt and I'm even starting to believe I'm fat, I've been wanting to throw up again and everytime I look at a pic of mine I find myself ugly and fat and I get sad whenever I remember he thinks I'm fat.I love him really really much and I'm about to quit the job of my dreams just to be more time with him and that's how he appreciate what I do for him.Please help me clear my thoughts because I feel terrible, thanks in advance
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2010): Ditch this crass, insensitive boy now - no matter how much you think you feel for him this can only end in disaster for you. Nobody who makes us feel bad about ourselves is worth our time or trouble. Under NO circumstances give up your dream job to spend more time with this insensitive, cruel git. You go girl - you're worth far, far more than this! Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your answers! :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2010): Tbh, maybe there is a little truth behind the insult, even if it came out wrong, it was rude of him to say, but if your size is affecting your health, the best way to approach it is not to puke and do some more damage to yourself and fall into a pathetic cycle of just puking and crying, you need to get out, join a dance class, / walk and use the stairs more, and eat less carbs, and only 3 meals a day regularly.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2010): Firstly, I really don't think you should quit your job for him..it sounds like a mistake if he can't even be a bit more sensitive about a subject like that...
I completely understand how you would feel, that is really harsh for someone to say, especially someone you really care about and trust. He knows your past, and he had no right to call you fat. Do you feel healthy? As in enough energy and stamina to get through the day? Do you eat regularly and everything in moderation? If you are healthy and taking care of yourself, whatever he or anyone says should not get you feeling bad abut yourself. It is all how you view yourself, not how others perceive you.
Go talk to someone, like a friend or family member, I'm sure that he has just caused paranoia, but that there is nothing to start stressing about.
I know how you feel about the weight thing, my bf is very skinny and never has to worry about what he eats, while I am the exact opposite. And even though I am told I don't look fat, I still put myself down. I know it's hard, and that we are own worst enemies, but try not to, take care of yourself.
Only other thing I can say is maybe sit your boyfriend down, tell him how he hurt you, how it made you feel. If he respects your feelings and cares that he made a big error, then maybe it can be fixed. But if not...You deserve better.
Good luck, and don't fall into the same traps. Seek help before you start to damage your body darling.
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