A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I had a very wierd start to our relationship,he thought I would be his one night stand but we never had sex,we eventually started hanging out more and became exclusive!I never met him with an intention of sleeping but he did and this thing keeps haunting me,I keep thinking what if I slept with him would he want to know me after that or just leave me and go?How do I get past thru this its affecting our relationship
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male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (29 May 2013):
I would think your boyfriend should have more of an issue with the fact that YOU didn't find him attractive enough to want to have sex with him. (Especially if you have with others). When a guy sees a good looking girl do you think his first thought is how much fun it would be to discuss philosophy with her all night?? You obviously turned him on, and then he discovered what a nice person you are, what's the problem ??
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (28 May 2013):
 my husband and I started as NSA/FWB never had any intentions of being more than fun and games for each other. He's often said to me that the fact that I did not want anything more than fun and games freed him up to let his feelings for me grow. We still debate to this day who loved who first... and our way of saying "I love you" is often "damn you to hell" since that was what I said to him the first time I realized I loved him.
You can wonder about WHAT IFs all the time but it won't change what is.
What bothers you more, that he didn't know you well enough to care about you but was willing to have sex with you, or the fact that you didn't know he just wanted to nail you and move on?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2013): If it still bothers you talk to him about all this and see if he can provide a answer that will bring you closure. If he cant provide a answer or reason that will bring you re assurance then you decide how this revelation or lack of will affect you building a future relationship with him. You are starting to have trust issues building and this in the long run will spell trouble if you cannot establish clearly if he really just wanted to jump your bones or if there was another avenue or reason behind all this. Don't rest until you have a answer that will satisfy your mind and heart. Good luck..
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2013): Are you bothered that he thought you might have been willing to sleep with him right away?
Just because he intended to try to sleep with you right away does not mean he already assumed you would do it. Plenty of guys make an attempt at ONS sex all the time regardless of how the girl comes across. We want to find out where a girl's sexual boundaries really are.
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