A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend grew up with his dog, and the two of them were incredibly close. She would have done anything to protect him and they were best buddies. I'm sure from what I've written so far, you can tell that she passed away, about a year ago. He's having a really hard time moving on. He still gets choked up when he talks about her, and he's not the kind of guy who cries easily. When his dog died, she took with her parts of him. Some of those parts were good; now he doesn't put up with fake people because she taught him to love genuine-ness, but now he's also terrified of loss. He says he won't ever get another dog again for fear of the loss. Not because he could never love a dog as much as he loved his dog, but because he's afraid to love one that much. He's also extremely protective of the people he loves. He's not overbearing with it, but I know it's because of his fear of loss.This worries me. How can I help him move on and help heal his heart?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've been noticing that many guys my age become wrecks when their puppies pass on :( it's comforting to know that you heal.
Thank you for your answers. I really appreciate them and take them to heart.
A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (12 April 2011):
 I don't think there's anything you can do for him. We all heal at different rates, and he just needs time. Just be as understanding as you can -- he'll become more balanced about loss and protectiveness as time goes by.
FWIW I was an utter basket case when I had to put my dog down the summer I was 19. Inconsolable. It hurt for literally years. But we do move on, eventually.
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A
female
reader, cupidus +, writes (12 April 2011):
I think there are sentimental moments that we look back on which may not look healthy but often are.
I bet dollars to donuts if you took him to a pet shop and let him hold the puppies, he'd have some tears but see that life goes on.
It's in facing those terrifying fears that we overcome them.
Yours too, don't be afraid for him.
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